Christmas Eve!!!

This Christmas was so great. I loved being around all my family and especially my nephew Eli, who was so excited to Santa to come. Our Christmas Eve was so much fun! Nathan and Laurel opened their home to us and served some great food, which included bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers, brie, chicken skewers, etc. It was so delicious and so much fun! Here are some highlights:

Tree Decorating and Gingerbread houses!!!

This past weekend, my nephew Eli came over and helped my mom and I decorate the Christmas tree and build a gingerbread house. Here are some highlights!!!

Semester's End!

So, my hardest, most challenging semester has finally come to an end and I made, just barely. I was always going to make it, but there were times, I'll admit, when I didn't think I would. And how I made it to the end, I do not really understand. All I know is that now I feel this overwhelming amount of peace and happiness. The stress is gone and my sleep feels good. I have stopped dreaming of school assignments and waking up with my mind racing.

Now, I am off to California for the break and some much needed rest. Thank you for all your love and support. I've truly needed it.

P.S. I got straight As when I was just aiming for Bs.

So Funny!

I read this blog called "How to Find Mr. Wrong." It's hilarious and this was posted the other day. I can't stop laughing. How desperate can you be? I'll let you decide.


I especially love the second call.

And I made it!

Well, almost. I have finished all my final assignments, except for 1 which I just need to proof read once more, but that will be tomorrow. A few weeks ago, if you asked me if I would make it to this point, I would have probably burst into tear, well I did, more than once. Just a few more days and the most challenging period of my life will have ended. I shouldn't say ended, but the trial I went through is done. So close, I plan to celebrate!

Thanksgiving surprise!

Originally, I was planning on staying in Boston for Thanksgiving. I decided that I just had too much going on to fly home to California for a few days and then just come back quickly. However, as my life turned chaotic and I really thought about it, I realized that I wanted to go home. Okay, I really wanted to hug my mom. I figured once I did this and saw her that everything would be okay. So after talking with my dad, I bought my plane ticket, but decided to surprise my mom with my arrival.

To pull this off, we involved my brother Nathan and sister-in-law, Laurel. They picked me up at the airport when I got in the day before Christmas. I was so excited to be back in California where it was warm and see my family. I could not believe how big my little nephew West was. He is so adorably cute and so smiley. I love his smiles and his little babbles and how he always wants to move around.

The morning of Thanksgiving, I called my mom and told her how much I wish I could be there and told her I was sad, but that all would be fine. So we drove over there. I ducked into the house and walked into the kitchen where she was. Her back was turned to me. I just tapped her on the shoulder and said "hi." She was surprised, well more like stunned. I just hugged her and she hugged me. She kept saying I can't believe you're here! It was awesome. She had no clue, but she was so excited I was there.

After the surprise, we sat down to a great dinner. Everything was awesome from the Turkey to the stuffing to Nathan's mashed sweet potatoes to Laurel's rolls, which we both sampled that morning. Then after dinner, we had dessert, which my aunt Julee made. Her cherry pie and pumpkin mousse trifle were divine.

What did I do the rest of the time? I just relaxed and enjoyed being with my family. It was exactly what I needed and now I feel that I can finish the semester strong!

What I am thankful for...

1. I am thankful for my sanity, especially after this semester.

2. I am thankful for my family. Mom, dad, Nathan, Laurel, Renee, Lewis, Eli, and West.

3. I am thankful for my extended family.

4. I am thankful for my amazing cousin Jessica. She is the best!

5. I am thankful for the gospel.

6. I am thankful for my job.

7. I am thankful for my schooling. Though it is difficult at times, I wouldn't change anything because it is making me stronger and tougher.

8. I am thankful for good roommates. Annie and Rebecca are great!

9. I am thankful for good friends. Betsy, Robin, Mollie, Michelle, Meg, Brooke, Lisa, Jen, and many others.

10. I am thankful for trashy magazines. They allow me to lose myself for a few hours every week.

11. I am thankful to have a roof over my head.

12. I am thnakful to be living in Boston.

What are you thankful for?

A little holiday cheer...

Santa Cookies...Courtesy of my rommate Annie...

So Close, Yet so far...

The semester is almost over. I am writing this blog post from my school's library on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Yes, that's right. I've spent plenty Saturdays in my school's library doing homework. The main reason I do it is because there is less distractions here than at my house. I get a lot done, but I am just ready for this entire semester to be over. I really am. I am thankful Simmons gives us a six week break because my mind will need that time to thoroughly recover.

The past three months have been incredibly challenging for me. I have really had to dig down deep and find strength to carry me through. I am at the point, where I have realized that everything is going to be okay, but it has been hard to get their. However, things have worked out in truly amazing ways. An assignment I was struggling with, I got help from my brother and then my professor made part of it extra credit. To my credit, I did figure out one of the two extra credit questions on my own. Oh, Database Management, you will not be the death of me. I've learned a lot, I have and I have an awful lot of respect and amazement for Nathan who basically got his Master's in this area. I can barely survive on semester of it.

I am thankful for everyone's support, prayers, and love during this time. Just listening helps. I am not the one to ask for help. If you know me, I am always the one helping others and it is hard for me to accept help from others. Why? I think it is because I have had so many experiences with people who said they would help and never did. They bailed on me. However, when people out here the past few weeks have started asking me how I was, I just told them the truth. That I was barely holding it together and that I was stressed. My relief society president brought me dinner, another friend told me to call her anytime to go out to eat or see a movie, another friend said she would just listen to any of my long and incoherent babbles and my roommates have just listened. My family has done much too. They have sustained me and remind me that I can do this. That I am strong when I forget that I am. Because when you get to where I was, I forgot that.

Jon Stewart and Archivists

This past week, UC Santa Cruz posted a job listing for an archivist who would work with their Grateful Dead collection. Yes, the Grateful Dead have their own archive that is located in the UC Santa Cruz Special Collections and Archives. When I saw the job posting, I thought this looks like a job I am qualified for. Plus, it pays over $60,000 a year and you get to live in Santa Cruz. So awesome (as it starts in March and I graduate in May, I am deciding whether to apply for this job). We'll see.

Yes, our profession does not get much notice or basically, most people do not understand what an archivist is or what exactly they do. Take Jon Stewart, yes the Jon Stewart of the Jon Stewart show. He, well his staff, found this posting and they thought it funny because they did a segment on it. While, I found the starting funny because really, organization and the Grateful Dead do not belong in the same office. However, the rest of it showed how little he understands about what exactly we do. I am not going to six years of school just to learn how to things alphabetically and numerically. I think our profession needs to do better outreach. The archival listservs have been going crazy. We should just take it in strive because who knows one day, one of us will have Stewart's papers.

Highs and Lows of Grad School

This past week has been the toughest week I have experienced since I began graduate school. Grad school is hard work. As my cousin told me during a wonderful email about getting through the hard times, if it was easy, everybody would get their Master's degree, but it is not. I tend to get overwhelmed easily. It is because my mom says I am incredibly sensitive, which is true. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I am trying to get better, but it is not working. So up until Tuesday, I have been constantly on the go. I did not even really have the weekend to recover because I went to the LDS Education Conference. I was sleep deprived, over worked and stressed about one of my classes at school. And Tuesday night, after all was said and done, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

What do I mean by this? I couldn't function. My brain was sapped and I felt like I was not going to make it. How was i going to get this all done? Besides being a full time student, I worked 20 hours a week plus I have an internship. I usually do my school work on Saturdays and at nights during the week. I broke. I did. After sitting on the floor of my bedroom for awhile, I called my dad up. In situations where I know I am highly emotional, I call my dad because he will not react emotionally to me. He presents a calm presence. He looks at my situation rationally. He listened through my incoherent tears to all my tears and then just plainly told me, "Janae, you need to rest. Don't do any work tonight and get out of the house or go to sleep now." He explained that I was overworked and needed to give myself a break. He banished homework for the night and I felt better after we got off the phone. I grabbed my purse and headed over to Harvard Square where I ended up reading a magazine for an hour before walking home. I needed fresh air and chatted with my sister. When I got home, I put on my pajamas, took some tylenol pm (I needed sound and uninterrupted sleep) and went to bed. Eight hours later, I felt break. I woke up with this calming peace inside me that all would be alright and it will be.

Everything will all be alright. I know I will make it, but I am not sure how I will come out in the end. This has been the most difficult semester ever, but I am somehow doing it. I don't know how, but everything gets done. I see the Lord's hand in everything and know he is watching over me. The degree will be worth it as day's end. The hard work will pay off. The light at the end of the tunnel is almost here. Thanks for all your love and support, especially to all of those who have listened and provided me with such great comfort. I love you guys the most!

My Testimony!

This weekend, I had the privilege to attend the LDS Education Conference here in Boston. Elder M Russell Ballard came and presided over it as well as our Stake Conference. The theme of the Conference and Stake Conference was mission work. Our conference yesterday focused on ways we can help people learn about the church, especially in light of all the anti-Mormon literature on the web. Davie Neeleman, the founder of JetBlue, was one of the speakers. He started a foundation called More Good to combat these sites. It has done amazing things. It really got me thinking about what I can do. Much of the conference focused on how we can use the internet, including blogs. I have a blog and I am going to take this opportunity to bear my testimony.

I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christy of Latter-day Saints. I cannot even imagine my life any other way. Though I am no perfect, I strive everyday to lead a righteous life. I know that the Lord loves me. He sent his son, Jesus Christ to this earth where he died so we could all have the opportunity to return and live with our Heavenly Father. I am so thankful for the atonement in my life. It is amazing its healing power and has brought me closer to the Lord. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. He was sent here to restore the true gospel to this earth. I am thankful for the Book of Mormon. It is another testament of the Lord. It is my favorite book. It provides me with guidance and has brought me comfort and shown me answers I was seeking. I find myself these days reading all over it as I am searching for answers to the next steps I should take in my life.

I am thankful for prayer. The Lord has answered many of mine. We just have to pray with a sincere heart and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost will never lead us astray. I felt his presence so strongly this weekend. He confirmed the words I heard from our leaders were true and send from the Lord. His still small voice provides such comfort and we cannot ignore him. We cannot fight him. When I have tried, he finds way to get me to listen.

The gospel is so beautiful. It is based on love, the love the Lord has for all his children who he wants to return to him. I am thankful for temple work and family history work. To find these ancestors and perform their work has to be one of the greatest gifts we can give them. As their work is done, I know they have without a doubt accepted the gospel. However, we need to also invite those still here on earth to hear the gospel and chose for themselves. This is one of my biggest shortcomings. I get nervous. I get scared, but I learned this weekend that the Lord will bring people to him if we seek them out. We cannot decide how does and does not have the right to hear the gospel because we never know who will accept it.

I am thankful for my family. I am glad to be sealed to them. My parents are so amazing as are my siblings. That is such a comfort to me to know my family is forever and that it does not end with death. That's way it pains me when I see some of my family members turn away from the church. I see they way they live their lives and I just wonder if they are happy? I see the mistakes they have made and wonder if things would be different if the gospel was still in their lives. Again, I am far from perfect, but the gospel has kept me from making horrible decisions. I really don't know where I would be without it. I don't even want to think about it. I really developed my testimony when I moved away from home at 18. At that time, my parents were not around to get me to go to church and I really read the Book of Mormon all the way through for the first time. I prayed to the Lord and asked him if it was true. During one quiet Sunday afternoon, he confirmed it was. My testimony has never wavered.

The church is true. I am thankful to have it in my life. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Salem! Halloween!

This past weekend, I, along with one of my best friends, okay she is my best friend out her, Betsy headed up to Salem to see how crazy it was for Halloween. As you know, Salem is where the infamous witch trials were held and they go all out for Halloween. They really do. Many people were dressed up in costumes. They are haunted houses and Betsy and I went on their candlelight tour that highlighted the Salem witch trails. It was so much fun!

This is Betsy and I standing with the Samantha Stephens statue. I love Betsy. She is so awesome. We hang out whenever we have the chance. Betsy and I are in the same program at Simmons. We met our first semester in our intro to archives class. We initially bonded over the fact we are both from California and formed a friendship from that point on. I am thankful to have met her and to be her friend. I have learned much from her and can talk to her about anything, especially about guys, school and life in general. She is always willing to listen and give advice. I appreciate her honesty! We will be friends for the rest of our lives. We had so much fun in Salem.

This is the main Salem drag, Essex Street. A street fair was set up and many people were in costumes. The weather was actually pretty nice too.

Some dressed up people.

Edward Scissorhands!

A dead bride. A funny story about this person. Later this night on our candlelight tour, we passed this "bride" lying on the ground with a cop rimming him out. She told him to get off the ground. He may have been a little tipsy!

The lit up Salem Witch Museum. The statue in front of it is of Roger Conant, Salem's founder and ancestor of mine.

The mime march!

And my favorite, old bay alley!

More to being an archivist...

Tonight, I had an amazing oppurtunity to attend a lecture by Dr. Saad Sakander of the Iraq Library and Archive. He hosted a diary about his experiences for BBC. He is the director of Iraq's National Library and Archive. He holds a Ph.D. in World History. He discussed the many challenges him and his staff are faced with in rebuilding the Iraqi archives. In Iraqi, they cannot separate politics and culture. As archives document both, Hussein wanted any evidence left by past regimes destroyed and old ways of lives forgotten. He wanted to show that his way was the "correct" way and that no good life existed outside of Iraq. Because of Hussein's efforts, the Iraqis veiwed the National Library as a place of oppression due to this censorship. Dr. Eskander has worked hard to shed this perception. He wants it to be viewed as a place of learning and education.

After the U.S. invasion, many records and artifacts were looted. The archives was left in shambles. Their biggest problem is retrieving all the former regime's, aka Saddam Hussein, records. After the invasion, Iraqis, political parties, Americans and neighboring countries looted them. Many Iraqis took them because they wanted to know what happened to their missing relatives and friends. Political parties took them so they could blackmail others into doing their bidding and the Americans took them to try and justify their invasion by finding a link between Hussein and terrorism.

Why does the archives want the records back? That is a very important question that has such a simple answer. You see, part of an archives' purpose is to hold people or institutions, i.e. the government accountable for their actions. How do we do this? We document them by collecting and preserving their records. This is why their is so much uproar over missing President's papers or emails. The U.S. has laws in place that place these records in the custody of the National Archives and we can thank Richard Nixon's 17 minutes of missing tape for these laws, but we need to document their actions so we can hold them accountable for their choices. It is to protect the public. Dr. Eskander wants these records back because they document the brutality of dictatorships and of the former regime. They show what they did was wrong and that is should never be repeated. They can never forget, but it will allow them to move forward as they transition into a democracy. They need these documents to show hold the former regime accountable for all their brutality.

Other things I learned was that corruption still runs rampant in Iraq. Old ways will not die, especially in education. It was funny to learn that the old regime feared photocopiers. The archives now has computers and is building a digital library. The staff has gone to Turkey and Italy for training. Dr. Eskander fears for the safety of his staff though. They are bussed to work. After the invasion, they had no power and very damaged records. They worked wearing gloves and masks and no money. However, Dr. Eskander has worked with the prime minister to get funding and to get him to pass laws that make it illegal for anyone outside of the archives to hold the former regime's records.

Dr. Eskander is doing amazing things at the Iraq archives. He wants it to be a place of learning, a place of hope and a place where people feel free to express themselves. He is revamping the archives for the better and allowing Iraqis to see their entire history and documenting their transition from a dictatorship to a democracy. This is why I am studying to be an archivist. I get to play a part in documenting history. In opening up the past to others.

3,000 mile perspective

Over the past few weeks, I have been reflecting over all the changes the have occurred in my life over the past year. Yes, I have officially resided in Boston now for well over a year. I have had my ups and my downs, but I have grown a lot. The funny thing about moving out has been, it has really give me a new perspective on the relationships I have with people in my life. 3,000 miles will do that to you because it has allowed me to really see people and to see what relationships I really do cherish. I realized that I had many "toxic" relationships where I constantly gave and gave but a few people never gave back. I was putting in all this effort to maintain relationships because I thought well as long as the other person is happy that is what matters. But you know what, I realized that I was being treated like crap by some people. Because I was too nice some people took advantage of that. It became all about them and how I was not meeting their needs or doing what they wanted. As I did everything, they really did nothing for me and even when I asked, they still blow me off, but heaven forbid I did the same thing to them. Then I was accused of being mean or being rude or of forgetting someone. Also, these people did not want you to be happy or let other people be happy. It had to be about them.

Like I said, the 3,000 miles really allowed me to see these people for who they really are and I had to decide what I wanted to do. I really did. I started to evaluate these relationships and found that the people who love me and wanted to have a relationship with me, made an effort to know me and see how I was doing. This move has strengthened relationships too and brought me closer to people. Renee and I are as close as ever. She is just so wonderful and she is my best friend. I tell her everything. Really, I do. I do not keep anything from her. It is scary how well we know each other, but I love her dearly. Lewis is a lucky guy. My parents and I are closer too. I love my mom and dad so much. My mom always seems to know when to call me when I'm having tough days. We always laugh and exchange stories. My dad too. Though he is not the best with words, I know he is proud of what I am doing out here. Both of them are. I have made it to where I am because of their love and support. I feel like they should receive part of my Master's degree too. They have never questioned my choices, which I appreciate because they want me to be happy.

In a way, I have grown closer to Nathan and Laurel too. This is due in part to Laurel's blog and facebook, but also through emails and random phone calls. We know what is happening with each other, especially with my cute little nephews. They are the best. They really are. We make the effort. Also, my Grandma Lakey is always there too. She calls me every few months to check in with me and to see how I am doing. I enjoy our chats because it gives us a chance to catch up with each other. I love her very much. I could go on and on about other people like my cousins Jessica and Lynleah or even my Aunt Amy. She texts me weekly to see how things are going. Also, I have developed some really great friendships out here. I was meant to know these people out here as they have made such an impact on my life.

I have some great church friends, but I have developed some wonderful friendships with people in my program that will last well after school. They have really made an impact on me and I am so thankful for them.

Good relationships is the key for me. I am done with the bad. I am done with constantly giving, only to get nothing back or just to get venom spewed back at me. I was even told by a very wise person out here, who has made such a difference in my life, that it is okay to be a "little mean and to draw lines." So thanks 3,000 miles. You allowed me to finally take some control, see who I really want in my life, and brought new friends into my life.

The Hills are Alive...

Above is the Von Trapp Lodge in Stowe, Vermont. Yes, that is thee Von Trapp family of the Sound of Music fame. After they left Austria, they relocated to Stowe, Vermont. The lodge is a hotel and you can also buy a timeshare their. It is beautiful. It is located on this mountain right above Stowe.

Front view of the lodge. It is so pretty!!!

The beautiful foilage that is Vermont.

Side view!!!

The beautiful valley!

Another view. I took like ten billion pics of the foilage!

Getting the group to smile. There were eight of us in all and we had a great time. I love all of them so much and am glad we did this together.

A few of us decide to frolick in the nearby meadow. The movie was very inspiring to us. Here is my attempt.

This is Jen and Jane!

For Laurel...

The following pictures are for my sister-in-law Laurel. She has been craving fall. I spent this past weekend with seven friends in Stowe, Vermont. It is this cute little New England town that is a major ski resort. We went to see the leaves changing. The place was literally on fire. I cannot even describe how beautiful it is. Stowe is what you think of when you think New England fall. Laurel, enjoy them. I'll post more pics from the trip later. We visited the Von Trapp lodge, a covered bridge, and Sharon, Vermont. All in a 24 hour period.