Thanksgiving surprise!

Originally, I was planning on staying in Boston for Thanksgiving. I decided that I just had too much going on to fly home to California for a few days and then just come back quickly. However, as my life turned chaotic and I really thought about it, I realized that I wanted to go home. Okay, I really wanted to hug my mom. I figured once I did this and saw her that everything would be okay. So after talking with my dad, I bought my plane ticket, but decided to surprise my mom with my arrival.

To pull this off, we involved my brother Nathan and sister-in-law, Laurel. They picked me up at the airport when I got in the day before Christmas. I was so excited to be back in California where it was warm and see my family. I could not believe how big my little nephew West was. He is so adorably cute and so smiley. I love his smiles and his little babbles and how he always wants to move around.

The morning of Thanksgiving, I called my mom and told her how much I wish I could be there and told her I was sad, but that all would be fine. So we drove over there. I ducked into the house and walked into the kitchen where she was. Her back was turned to me. I just tapped her on the shoulder and said "hi." She was surprised, well more like stunned. I just hugged her and she hugged me. She kept saying I can't believe you're here! It was awesome. She had no clue, but she was so excited I was there.

After the surprise, we sat down to a great dinner. Everything was awesome from the Turkey to the stuffing to Nathan's mashed sweet potatoes to Laurel's rolls, which we both sampled that morning. Then after dinner, we had dessert, which my aunt Julee made. Her cherry pie and pumpkin mousse trifle were divine.

What did I do the rest of the time? I just relaxed and enjoyed being with my family. It was exactly what I needed and now I feel that I can finish the semester strong!

What I am thankful for...

1. I am thankful for my sanity, especially after this semester.

2. I am thankful for my family. Mom, dad, Nathan, Laurel, Renee, Lewis, Eli, and West.

3. I am thankful for my extended family.

4. I am thankful for my amazing cousin Jessica. She is the best!

5. I am thankful for the gospel.

6. I am thankful for my job.

7. I am thankful for my schooling. Though it is difficult at times, I wouldn't change anything because it is making me stronger and tougher.

8. I am thankful for good roommates. Annie and Rebecca are great!

9. I am thankful for good friends. Betsy, Robin, Mollie, Michelle, Meg, Brooke, Lisa, Jen, and many others.

10. I am thankful for trashy magazines. They allow me to lose myself for a few hours every week.

11. I am thankful to have a roof over my head.

12. I am thnakful to be living in Boston.

What are you thankful for?

A little holiday cheer...

Santa Cookies...Courtesy of my rommate Annie...

So Close, Yet so far...

The semester is almost over. I am writing this blog post from my school's library on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Yes, that's right. I've spent plenty Saturdays in my school's library doing homework. The main reason I do it is because there is less distractions here than at my house. I get a lot done, but I am just ready for this entire semester to be over. I really am. I am thankful Simmons gives us a six week break because my mind will need that time to thoroughly recover.

The past three months have been incredibly challenging for me. I have really had to dig down deep and find strength to carry me through. I am at the point, where I have realized that everything is going to be okay, but it has been hard to get their. However, things have worked out in truly amazing ways. An assignment I was struggling with, I got help from my brother and then my professor made part of it extra credit. To my credit, I did figure out one of the two extra credit questions on my own. Oh, Database Management, you will not be the death of me. I've learned a lot, I have and I have an awful lot of respect and amazement for Nathan who basically got his Master's in this area. I can barely survive on semester of it.

I am thankful for everyone's support, prayers, and love during this time. Just listening helps. I am not the one to ask for help. If you know me, I am always the one helping others and it is hard for me to accept help from others. Why? I think it is because I have had so many experiences with people who said they would help and never did. They bailed on me. However, when people out here the past few weeks have started asking me how I was, I just told them the truth. That I was barely holding it together and that I was stressed. My relief society president brought me dinner, another friend told me to call her anytime to go out to eat or see a movie, another friend said she would just listen to any of my long and incoherent babbles and my roommates have just listened. My family has done much too. They have sustained me and remind me that I can do this. That I am strong when I forget that I am. Because when you get to where I was, I forgot that.

Jon Stewart and Archivists

This past week, UC Santa Cruz posted a job listing for an archivist who would work with their Grateful Dead collection. Yes, the Grateful Dead have their own archive that is located in the UC Santa Cruz Special Collections and Archives. When I saw the job posting, I thought this looks like a job I am qualified for. Plus, it pays over $60,000 a year and you get to live in Santa Cruz. So awesome (as it starts in March and I graduate in May, I am deciding whether to apply for this job). We'll see.

Yes, our profession does not get much notice or basically, most people do not understand what an archivist is or what exactly they do. Take Jon Stewart, yes the Jon Stewart of the Jon Stewart show. He, well his staff, found this posting and they thought it funny because they did a segment on it. While, I found the starting funny because really, organization and the Grateful Dead do not belong in the same office. However, the rest of it showed how little he understands about what exactly we do. I am not going to six years of school just to learn how to things alphabetically and numerically. I think our profession needs to do better outreach. The archival listservs have been going crazy. We should just take it in strive because who knows one day, one of us will have Stewart's papers.

Highs and Lows of Grad School

This past week has been the toughest week I have experienced since I began graduate school. Grad school is hard work. As my cousin told me during a wonderful email about getting through the hard times, if it was easy, everybody would get their Master's degree, but it is not. I tend to get overwhelmed easily. It is because my mom says I am incredibly sensitive, which is true. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I am trying to get better, but it is not working. So up until Tuesday, I have been constantly on the go. I did not even really have the weekend to recover because I went to the LDS Education Conference. I was sleep deprived, over worked and stressed about one of my classes at school. And Tuesday night, after all was said and done, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

What do I mean by this? I couldn't function. My brain was sapped and I felt like I was not going to make it. How was i going to get this all done? Besides being a full time student, I worked 20 hours a week plus I have an internship. I usually do my school work on Saturdays and at nights during the week. I broke. I did. After sitting on the floor of my bedroom for awhile, I called my dad up. In situations where I know I am highly emotional, I call my dad because he will not react emotionally to me. He presents a calm presence. He looks at my situation rationally. He listened through my incoherent tears to all my tears and then just plainly told me, "Janae, you need to rest. Don't do any work tonight and get out of the house or go to sleep now." He explained that I was overworked and needed to give myself a break. He banished homework for the night and I felt better after we got off the phone. I grabbed my purse and headed over to Harvard Square where I ended up reading a magazine for an hour before walking home. I needed fresh air and chatted with my sister. When I got home, I put on my pajamas, took some tylenol pm (I needed sound and uninterrupted sleep) and went to bed. Eight hours later, I felt break. I woke up with this calming peace inside me that all would be alright and it will be.

Everything will all be alright. I know I will make it, but I am not sure how I will come out in the end. This has been the most difficult semester ever, but I am somehow doing it. I don't know how, but everything gets done. I see the Lord's hand in everything and know he is watching over me. The degree will be worth it as day's end. The hard work will pay off. The light at the end of the tunnel is almost here. Thanks for all your love and support, especially to all of those who have listened and provided me with such great comfort. I love you guys the most!

My Testimony!

This weekend, I had the privilege to attend the LDS Education Conference here in Boston. Elder M Russell Ballard came and presided over it as well as our Stake Conference. The theme of the Conference and Stake Conference was mission work. Our conference yesterday focused on ways we can help people learn about the church, especially in light of all the anti-Mormon literature on the web. Davie Neeleman, the founder of JetBlue, was one of the speakers. He started a foundation called More Good to combat these sites. It has done amazing things. It really got me thinking about what I can do. Much of the conference focused on how we can use the internet, including blogs. I have a blog and I am going to take this opportunity to bear my testimony.

I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christy of Latter-day Saints. I cannot even imagine my life any other way. Though I am no perfect, I strive everyday to lead a righteous life. I know that the Lord loves me. He sent his son, Jesus Christ to this earth where he died so we could all have the opportunity to return and live with our Heavenly Father. I am so thankful for the atonement in my life. It is amazing its healing power and has brought me closer to the Lord. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. He was sent here to restore the true gospel to this earth. I am thankful for the Book of Mormon. It is another testament of the Lord. It is my favorite book. It provides me with guidance and has brought me comfort and shown me answers I was seeking. I find myself these days reading all over it as I am searching for answers to the next steps I should take in my life.

I am thankful for prayer. The Lord has answered many of mine. We just have to pray with a sincere heart and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost will never lead us astray. I felt his presence so strongly this weekend. He confirmed the words I heard from our leaders were true and send from the Lord. His still small voice provides such comfort and we cannot ignore him. We cannot fight him. When I have tried, he finds way to get me to listen.

The gospel is so beautiful. It is based on love, the love the Lord has for all his children who he wants to return to him. I am thankful for temple work and family history work. To find these ancestors and perform their work has to be one of the greatest gifts we can give them. As their work is done, I know they have without a doubt accepted the gospel. However, we need to also invite those still here on earth to hear the gospel and chose for themselves. This is one of my biggest shortcomings. I get nervous. I get scared, but I learned this weekend that the Lord will bring people to him if we seek them out. We cannot decide how does and does not have the right to hear the gospel because we never know who will accept it.

I am thankful for my family. I am glad to be sealed to them. My parents are so amazing as are my siblings. That is such a comfort to me to know my family is forever and that it does not end with death. That's way it pains me when I see some of my family members turn away from the church. I see they way they live their lives and I just wonder if they are happy? I see the mistakes they have made and wonder if things would be different if the gospel was still in their lives. Again, I am far from perfect, but the gospel has kept me from making horrible decisions. I really don't know where I would be without it. I don't even want to think about it. I really developed my testimony when I moved away from home at 18. At that time, my parents were not around to get me to go to church and I really read the Book of Mormon all the way through for the first time. I prayed to the Lord and asked him if it was true. During one quiet Sunday afternoon, he confirmed it was. My testimony has never wavered.

The church is true. I am thankful to have it in my life. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.