Happy 80th Birthday!!!

This past week, my grandfather turned 80 years old. So my aunt and uncle throw a party for him. Renee, Lewis, and I drove down for it. It was in St. George, Utah. It was nice to get out of Salt Lake City for awhile and to see our parents and family. My grandpa's birthday was held at my aunt and uncle's house. They served a wonderful meal, which included ribs. The party was amazing. And we are all so thankful for all the effort Rich and Gail put into it. You guys are rock stars!

My grandpa is one of the most amazing people I know. He is kind and loving. And most of all, he is devoted to his family. He never asks for anything and is an incredible giver of his time and energy. My aunt put together a book of memories for my grandpa. It included stories and thoughts from his children and grandchild. The theme of them was how much we love him and how grateful we are to have him in our lives. He has always been there for us through everything.

At the party, my grandpa told me, Renee, and Lewis about his time in the military. He was drafted and was suppose to go to Korea. Because of this, he was going to wait to marry my grandma after his time in Korea ended. He really did not want to go to Korea. And he never set foot in the country. Instead, he ended up as a supply sergeant in California before being sent to Washington. He was incredibly lucky more than once that he never had to go to Korea. Each time, it seemed something came up that kept him in the U.S. It was the Lord watching over him. He knew my grandpa had other important things to do, like marry my grandma and start his own family.

Today, my grandfather is the proud father of three wonderful children, the loving grandfather of nine grandchildren, and the happy great grandfather of thirteen great grand kids. He is loved fiercely by all of them. We all look up to him and the example he has set forth for all of us.

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Gail bringing out the chocolate birthday cake! And that is 80 candles!

Renee, Grandpa, and I

The guys' poker game!

Halloween Half

A week ago, this past Saturday, my friend (and roommate) Linnea and I ran the Halloween Half marathon. The night before, we went and picked up our packets at the University Mall in Provo, Utah. It was kind of chaotic. After getting my packet, I noticed that somehow, I was registered as a male. It came as quite a surprise to me!


For this half marathon, everyone dressed up in Halloween costumes. Many people were very creative. Sadly, I did not bring my camera to the start line. One guys dressed up as a shower...well as the shower scene from the Karate Kid. I dressed up as a pink fairy and Linnea dressed up as a pink bunny. Many people were dressed up as Where's Waldo and there were many fairies.
The morning of the marathon, we had to be at the mall to catch the bus at 6 though the race did not start until 9. It was freezing cold. Our race began up around Sundance in Provo Canyon. We ran down Provo Canyon to this park right outside of the Riverwoods shopping area in Orem. The anticipation just built up that morning. I really wanted it to begin. This was my first half marathon. And honestly, I was kind of nervous to run it. That is 13.1 miles. The most I had run in training was 11.5 miles. I would like to thank my sister and her husband for letting me run to their house for the past few Saturdays and then giving me a ride home.

As the race began, I started with a slow pace. The first five miles were downhill. You do not want to sprint down because you will waste your energy for the rest of the race and it will cause havoc to your leg muscles. I had my ipod with me and jammed to a lot of Britney Spears and Kesha. It was a good mix with a good beat. My goal was to run the entire race. The first three miles flew by. And then before I knew it I was at mile 6. The whole time, I just keep telling myself "you can do this." I was running this marathon for myself. It was not about my time or anything else. I wanted to prove that I could do this.

As mile 8 approached, I was hurting. I started saying to myself, "Just keep running, just keep running" (instead of "just keep swimming, just keeping swimming). I kept counting down the miles. I was running about a ten minute mile. However, when I past mile 9, I never saw a sign for mile 10. It kind of threw me. Because the next thing I knew, I was at mile 11. Mile 11 was tough. I was tired and hurting. However, I knew once I got to 12, I was in the home stretch and would have some support. After running for 11 straight miles, I walk/ran mile 11.

When mile 12 came, I wanted it to be over but knew I had to make it to the finish line. When I started walking, this woman came up behind me and said "finish strong." I started to pick up my pace. Along the way, Ben meet me on the course and started running with me to the end. Then we meet up with my sister and brother-in-law. They both ran behind me. Ben kept telling me I was so close and that I was going to make it. All three helped me to the finish line. Before the finish line, I saw my friend Merisa and her little girls cheering me on. It was so cute! And truthfully, I do not think I would have gotten there without them. Their support meant everything because I felt like I had nothing left.

After crossing the finish line, they handed me my medal. I ran the half marathon in 2:22. And because I was in the male division, I finished 119th in the 25 to 29 division. So funny!!! Renee took some after photos. I may have to bribe her for them. Just kidding.

I learned from this race, that we are capable of doing anything we set our mind too. And we are never alone in our pursuits. I had support that helped me get to the end. That made an incredible difference. These amazing people who came out to cheer me on. I could not have asked for more. Also, I learned once again that I can do difficult things. Though I think I cannot do them...I can. We can do anything. We just have to believe in ourselves!

Half Marathon

So after much thought, I have decided to run a half marathon next month. I have gone back and forth about running a half marathon. Part of me just did not want to do it but another part of me wanted to prove that I can complete a half marathon or 13 mile run. I was a little scared...but I do not like to live my life with regrets. I feel like I can do this. And I am running with my roommate.

We are running the Halloween Half marathon down in Provo, Utah. And we get to run dressed up if we chose too. I am already thinking about my costume, which may just be a Halloween t-shirt. Who knows?

The training schedule has been fun! And grueling. This past Saturday, I ran 10 miles. I really ran 10 miles. It was hard, but I did it. Now, if I can just tack on three more, I have the half marathon completed. It is amazing how resilient your body is. Though my muscles hurt after my long run, I am getting my body in shape to run this long distance.

Embrace your Womanly Curves!!!

For the past few weeks, I have been attending Zumba classes. This past week, we had a guest instructor who was awesome. When we get to this one song near the end of class, our instructor told us to "embrace our curves." That is what the dance moves we do is all about and it is one of my favorite workouts. However, her statement got me thinking about my own body and all women's bodies along with other conversations I have had with people. I guess I am using this post to vent one of the many frustrations I have been dealing with lately.

After losing 80 pounds, I struggled with my body image. I thought I had to be stick thin. When I moved to Boston three years ago, my weight dwindled down to an unhealthy place. If I gained any ounces, I punished my body by working out non-stop and basically stopped eating. I was irritable and unhappy all the time. Finally, I realized I had to stop. What I was doing was not good for me. I had to find a balance where I maintained my weight and was healthy and accept that I was not a person meant to be stick thin. I have curves and my stomach is never going to be rock hard. My stomach will always be my problem area. It is just a bunch of extra skin and some days it bothers me.

However, weight is an emotional issue for women. Many things are tied to it. I have learned that being thin makes girls as insecure as girls who are overweight. Truthfully, I think thin girls are more insecure. We just need to be comfortable with who we are. It took me a long time to learn that...to learn to be happy with my body. The Lord gave me this body and expects me to take care of it. When I was starving myself and running like crazy, I was disrespecting my body. My turning point came one day when I looked in the mirror and I did not like the person who looked back at me. I frightened myself. I had to change and be more accepting of myself.

The hardest struggle was accepting was accepting attention from men. I felt I was the same person as I was before. I gained more confidence, but I was still me. In explaining this to a friend one day, this person told me that I was always there, I just had to find her. I had to let her out of the place where I kept her hidden. These words have stuck with me and mean so much to me. I am who I always was, but it is like I had to release a part of me that I kept hidden away. That was buried by my weight.

I love my curves. I am never going to be stick thin or a rail. That is not me. My goal is to be healthy and to exercise. Lately though I have struggled with running. There is this mental block. In so many ways, I feel like the joy has been taken away due to some circumstances. And getting over this mental block is killing me. It really is. Instead, I have been going to Zumba, which is this aerobic dance class, three times a week. I love Zumba. I am not the most coordinated person, but it is a good workout and so much fun. I allow myself to get lost in the moves. And I realized going to this class is exactly what I needed. It gives me some separation from running for the time being. I am not sure how to go back to running. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but it is hard. So I am loving my womanly curves. And you should love yours too!!!

Happy 4th!!!

Surprise, Surprise, I have finally decided to write on my blog. There are no excuses from my lack of updates unless you except laziness. Before I talk about July 4th, I want thank my sister and brother-in-law for celebrating my birthday with me. They decorated their apartment, made me dinner, and Renee made a delicious cake. I showed her this oreo cake on a food blog and she made her own. Here are a few highlights:

Decorated apartment

The fantastic Oreo cake

The inside of the cake--the best part!!!

I spent this past weekend in Southern California with my family. For the 4th, we had a barbeque and went swimming. It was so much fun! The best part of going home to visit, is seeing my nephews, E and W. They are so cute!And it is always great to catch up with my brother and sister-in-law and parents.

With E. He is wearing a shirt his mom made for him and his brother. She is very creative!

Wrangling the little ones!

E turning the camera on his mom and brother.

W needed his turn behind the camera too!

W began some Kung Fu fighting!

The showdown between brothers!

The hug (and my favorite pic)

I hope everyone had a happy fourth of July!!!

A week to forget...

This past week, I literally could not remember anything. I do not know what happened, but I experience some senior moments. Here are some highlights:

1. Twice, I forgot to get off the elevator at work when it stopped at my floor (the first time was on Monday morning).

2. I forgot where I parked my car. And both times, I had friends with me. They just laughed at me as I lead them through the parking lot searching for my car.

3. I forgot that Lewis and Renee were coming over to my house on Thursday.

4. I could not find my email the contained my travel information for my upcoming work trip. However, thanks to the help of the staff assistant, I found it.

So I did not have the best week and I attribute it to being tired and moving and a few other things. Oh, well. I guess all I can do is laugh about it.

I HEART Bieber!!!

Back in December, Renee and I were at the movies when we saw a preview for the Justin Bieber movie "Never Say Never." Because it is us, we started joking about how much we wanted to see that movie because we love Justin Bieber with all our hearts. Since December, whenever we saw a movie poster or trailer, we would be like "we are totally seeing that movie." In January, our joke became reality. We decided that we were going to so see this movie. Yes, a movie about a 16 year old pop star who brings girls to tears. We thought it was hilarious.

This past week, our dream came true. Renee, Lewis (isn't he the world's best husband to endure this movie), and I went to see it. It was not a bad movie. I learned that Justin Bieber is a pretty talented musician. He taught himself to play the drums, piano, guitar, and some other instruments. He is Canadian. What is not to love about that? And finally, he can bring girls to tears, especially when they are fighting over who loves him more. This reminded me of my teenage crush on the Backstreet Boys. I loved them during my teenage years, but I do not think I over cried over them. I remember hurrying home to watch Total Request Live to see if they best NSYNC out for the number on video. Those were the days.

But the Bieber movie was entertaining. However, I realized that there is one scene that will not make sense to you if you have not seen the new Karate Kid movie with Jaden Smith or at least heard the Karate Kid soundtrack. I finally saw the Karate Kid last night and I felt like I had come full circle. Renee will tell you that one of her favorite parts of the movie was when I asked "What does this song have to do with karate and China?" That is why knowing the Karate Kid connection is key.

Overall, it was a fun movie to go see and I figured if I was a 13 year old, I would definitely be in love with Justin Bieber.

Renee and I kissing our boy!

2010 Reflection

Wow, I cannot believe it is 2011 already. This past year has just flown by. I have spent the past few days reflecting on 2010 and how my life has changed for the better. When last year began, I made a few resolutions. I wanted to continue living a healthy lifestyle, finish graduate school,find a job, and reevaluate what relationships in my life were truly important and worth keeping. I have continued living a healthy lifestyle, most of the time. I work out six days a week and try to watch what I eat. I have this insane love of running and my goal this year is to run some 10K races and I have a roommate who is trying to convince me to give a half marathon a try. We will see what happens. When I get the chance I like to go to Zumba classes. I love Zumba. Zumba is basically an aerobic Latin dance class. It is so much fun and a good work out. And so who cares if I do not have the best rhythm, it is a real great work out.

I graduated with my Master's in May. I was so happy to have finished my degree. It was two years of hard work, but it was worth it. After graduating, I stayed in Boston as I looked for a job on the West Coast. While I loved my time in Boston, after much prayer and contemplation, I realized that I needed to move back home for awhile as I looked for a job. While it was hard to leave behind my friends, I knew this was the right move for me. And by following this path, my life changed for the better.

Returning to California, I applied for every job out there in my field. One day, I came across this position working for the LDS church. After spending a day thinking about whether to apply or not, I finally submitted my resume. All I thought was this is never going to happen...not in a million years. So one day while I was babysitting my two little nephews, I received a call from a Utah number and a message was left that the church would like to interview me for this position. I could not believe it. After talking with the man who is now my boss, he persuaded me to come up to Salt Lake for an in person interview. I left this interview knowing that I had made it to the second round of interviews. Than before I knew it I had gotten the job with a little hitch. They wanted me to start my job in a week. I had a week to pack up my life in Cali (honestly, most of my stuff was still in boxes) and get to SLC. So I had a job with great benefits, but no clue where I was going to live. So on Saturday, after my job offer, I found a place to live. Everything just worked out so well and the silver lining, I now live in the same town with my sister.

It is funny because a year ago, I never would have imagined that I would be living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I would have told you "no." I thought I would end up back in California, but that was not part of the Lord's plan for me. He needs me here. I need to be here because this is exactly where I am suppose to be. There is no doubt in my mind. Things are working out as they should be and I love all the possibilities that lay before me.

The last resolution on my list was to reevaluate that relationships in my life. Honestly, I have been doing this for the past two years. I realized there was many relationships in my life that had just emotionally drained me. I went to a place that scared me...With the help of some incredible people, I pulled myself up when I finally figured out that I needed to have healthy relationships in my life. I needed relationships where I was treated with love and respect. I realized for this to happen that I needed to change myself, which began with finally standing up for myself and telling people that "hey, you cannot treat me however you want" because I deserve so much more than that.

I have incredible parents, who love me unconditionally and would do anything for me. They want the best for me and believed everything would work out for me even when I had lost hope. Thanks Mom for never giving up on me and knowing that it would all work out in the end. Some days, I wish I had your faith. My sister is my best friend and I love her so much. Her husband is not that bad either. Just kidding! Lewis, you are a great brother-in-law. My brother and his wife are amazing. Laurel is a great sister-in-law and I am grateful for the friendship we have. She is a great mother with the two cutest boys, who I miss everyday. I miss my games of tag with Eli and West. I feel like I have really strengthened these bonds with my immediate family.

Through this time, I have developed a close relationship with my cousin Jessica. She is an answer to a prayer. In times when I have struggled, she has provided me guidance that I so desperately needed or just send me a card that made my day. I have shared all my highs and lows with her. It is funny how our lives have paralleled each other in so many ways. Thank you for everything Jessica and thank you just does not seem like enough. I have loved sharing these past few years with you and look forward to sharing everything else that is to come with you. I could not ask for a better cousin and friend. I hope to come visit you one of these days and play with you cute kids. It is one of my resolutions for this coming year.

I am still in this reevaluation process. It is not easy and some days, it is a struggle. But I want to move forward on my own terms and not on the terms of others. When I tried to live according to the terms of others, I lost my way and became a person I did not like. I now try to live every day according to what makes me happy and by doing this, I have found who I truly am. I love who I am. It may have taken me years to get here, but it is through these trials and triumphs that have made me who I am today.

I view this next year with great hope and faith. Good things are coming as I continue along this path the Lord has set out for me. My main goal for this following year, is to be happy.