Embrace your Womanly Curves!!!

For the past few weeks, I have been attending Zumba classes. This past week, we had a guest instructor who was awesome. When we get to this one song near the end of class, our instructor told us to "embrace our curves." That is what the dance moves we do is all about and it is one of my favorite workouts. However, her statement got me thinking about my own body and all women's bodies along with other conversations I have had with people. I guess I am using this post to vent one of the many frustrations I have been dealing with lately.

After losing 80 pounds, I struggled with my body image. I thought I had to be stick thin. When I moved to Boston three years ago, my weight dwindled down to an unhealthy place. If I gained any ounces, I punished my body by working out non-stop and basically stopped eating. I was irritable and unhappy all the time. Finally, I realized I had to stop. What I was doing was not good for me. I had to find a balance where I maintained my weight and was healthy and accept that I was not a person meant to be stick thin. I have curves and my stomach is never going to be rock hard. My stomach will always be my problem area. It is just a bunch of extra skin and some days it bothers me.

However, weight is an emotional issue for women. Many things are tied to it. I have learned that being thin makes girls as insecure as girls who are overweight. Truthfully, I think thin girls are more insecure. We just need to be comfortable with who we are. It took me a long time to learn that...to learn to be happy with my body. The Lord gave me this body and expects me to take care of it. When I was starving myself and running like crazy, I was disrespecting my body. My turning point came one day when I looked in the mirror and I did not like the person who looked back at me. I frightened myself. I had to change and be more accepting of myself.

The hardest struggle was accepting was accepting attention from men. I felt I was the same person as I was before. I gained more confidence, but I was still me. In explaining this to a friend one day, this person told me that I was always there, I just had to find her. I had to let her out of the place where I kept her hidden. These words have stuck with me and mean so much to me. I am who I always was, but it is like I had to release a part of me that I kept hidden away. That was buried by my weight.

I love my curves. I am never going to be stick thin or a rail. That is not me. My goal is to be healthy and to exercise. Lately though I have struggled with running. There is this mental block. In so many ways, I feel like the joy has been taken away due to some circumstances. And getting over this mental block is killing me. It really is. Instead, I have been going to Zumba, which is this aerobic dance class, three times a week. I love Zumba. I am not the most coordinated person, but it is a good workout and so much fun. I allow myself to get lost in the moves. And I realized going to this class is exactly what I needed. It gives me some separation from running for the time being. I am not sure how to go back to running. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but it is hard. So I am loving my womanly curves. And you should love yours too!!!