Highs and Lows of Grad School

This past week has been the toughest week I have experienced since I began graduate school. Grad school is hard work. As my cousin told me during a wonderful email about getting through the hard times, if it was easy, everybody would get their Master's degree, but it is not. I tend to get overwhelmed easily. It is because my mom says I am incredibly sensitive, which is true. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I am trying to get better, but it is not working. So up until Tuesday, I have been constantly on the go. I did not even really have the weekend to recover because I went to the LDS Education Conference. I was sleep deprived, over worked and stressed about one of my classes at school. And Tuesday night, after all was said and done, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

What do I mean by this? I couldn't function. My brain was sapped and I felt like I was not going to make it. How was i going to get this all done? Besides being a full time student, I worked 20 hours a week plus I have an internship. I usually do my school work on Saturdays and at nights during the week. I broke. I did. After sitting on the floor of my bedroom for awhile, I called my dad up. In situations where I know I am highly emotional, I call my dad because he will not react emotionally to me. He presents a calm presence. He looks at my situation rationally. He listened through my incoherent tears to all my tears and then just plainly told me, "Janae, you need to rest. Don't do any work tonight and get out of the house or go to sleep now." He explained that I was overworked and needed to give myself a break. He banished homework for the night and I felt better after we got off the phone. I grabbed my purse and headed over to Harvard Square where I ended up reading a magazine for an hour before walking home. I needed fresh air and chatted with my sister. When I got home, I put on my pajamas, took some tylenol pm (I needed sound and uninterrupted sleep) and went to bed. Eight hours later, I felt break. I woke up with this calming peace inside me that all would be alright and it will be.

Everything will all be alright. I know I will make it, but I am not sure how I will come out in the end. This has been the most difficult semester ever, but I am somehow doing it. I don't know how, but everything gets done. I see the Lord's hand in everything and know he is watching over me. The degree will be worth it as day's end. The hard work will pay off. The light at the end of the tunnel is almost here. Thanks for all your love and support, especially to all of those who have listened and provided me with such great comfort. I love you guys the most!