Reflections...

I do not know quite how to begin this post or if it will even make sense, so please bare with me. The end has finally arrived. After two years, which now seems like it just flow by, I have completed my Master's. At the moment, I just want to shout "I'm Done! I Did It!" followed by some cart wheels. Then I remind myself, I have never been able to do a cart wheel and I do not want to hurt myself by attempting this feat. I feel such a mixture of emotions. I am happy and excited and every happy emotion you can even imagine. I just want to cry tears of happiness and tears of joy.

Getting this degree has not been easy. I feel like I have faced every struggle possible. I know the Lord gives us trials to test us and to make us stronger. I use to laugh that God continually gave me trials because there was something big coming around the corner I had to weather and these trials were preparing me for it. That was not his purpose. He was making me stronger with each one. He saw where I was weak and sent me on a path to fix that. Like he says in the scriptures, the Lord will make "weak things become strong." He has done that for me and I see that so clearly now as my eyes are now fully wide open. But at the moments when things were hard, I did not look at it this way. Now that I can reflect on it, I see why they were there. It is funny how things work themselves out.

Through these trials, I have also learned to overcome many fears and stand strong. I have feel like I have passed the ultimate gut check. This past Sunday in Relief Society, we talked about making decisions, which I thought was meant for me. We discussed what President Monson said about decision making and it really resonated with me.

He said "I urge you to not take counsel of your fears. I hope you will not say, "I'm not smart enough to study chemical engineering; hence, I'll study something less strenuous." "I can't apply myself sufficiently well to study this difficult subject or in this comprehensive filed; hence, I'll choose the easier way." I plead with you to choose the hard way and tax your talents. Our Heavenly Father will make you equal to your tasks. If one should stumble, if one should take a course and get less than the "A" grade desired, I hope such a one will not let it become a discouraging thing to him. I hope that he will rise and try again."

I love how he began by talking about not giving into our fears. It is so easy too. This is why I feel like I have had the trials in my life. They have shown me that I have nothing to fear. That I am strong and that there is nothing that I cannot do. In these past two years, I have done many things I never dreamed in a million years I could do. I moved 3,000 miles away from my family. I built this whole new life and bettered myself. I can build and manage databases, talk about the hardest class I have even taken, but am so grateful I did. I no longer want to run away, but embrace what comes my way.