In Honor of Valentine's Day...

I thought I would share some amusing antidotes about my dating life. You see, I seem only attract the weirdos for some reason. I really do. I think it is in my DNA and sometimes I think it is almost too much to ask for just a normal guy. Just one normal guy, he can even be semi normal. After what I had this past year, semi normal sounds good.

So to prove my point about the weirdness, here are some of the highlights from this past year:

1. I knew going to that date auction was a bad idea. At this time, last summer, my ward had older men in it, and by older, I mean over 40. My biggest fear was that one would win my date and lo and behold, God did not let me down. This 40 plus man won and we went out to a nice steakhouse. He is a nice guy, but all he could talk about was how he needed to find his "eternal companion." You know, take that next step. I have never heard the phrase used so much. And the whole time, I kept thinking, you are like ten years younger than my parents. He wanted to take a stroll by the Charles, but I convinced him to walk me to the subway. He asked me out again, but I just told him we needed to be friends. He now avoids me.

2. So only Renee has heard this tale and probably Lewis. This past fall, I was browsing this store in Harvard Square and I noticed this guy hovering next to me. He finally told me that he was jogging by and saw me through the window and thought I was so beautiful that he had to ask me out. I was flattered. This never happens to me, but only to other people. I agreed and thought he has initiative, which some guys in my ward seem to lack. He asked me for my number and said he would call me. So we arranged to go see Stomp and have dinner. Before my date, I made sure my sister and roommates knew the details. I even programmed a text to my sister to call me with an emergency if I needed an out.

I never should have gone. I told him at our initial meeting, I grow up near L.A. He decided to prep for our date by watching season 1 of Melrose Place because everyone in California has watched it. I should have taken that for a sign on how the date would go. He told me he failed out of Dental School because he never studied and was now studying to be an accountant so he could make a lot of money, but he did not like studying for that either. He kept referring to my school as Smith, no matter how many times I called it Simmons. We had nothing in common. No spark, no anything. He spent the whole show staring at me. It was uncomfortable. As I went to the bathroom, I thought I need to leave, but I had forgotten my coat.

After the show, which was really good, he took me to Legal Seafoods. You know the date is bad when your waitress feels sorry for you. He just has no people skills. I laid our jacket between us and did not say much. I finally escaped to the bathroom where my cell phone got no signal. It just felt weird and I knew I had to leave. As I walked out of the bathroom, he was standing there, waiting for me. To get back to the table, you had to walk up these stairs. Walking up he trailed behind me. I was disgusted. All I wanted to do was take a shower. We sat down and I quizzed him on where he lived because we were not going home the same way. I found out he lived on the opposite side of town from me. I never told him my last name or where I lived and he apparently did not learn where I went to school. He walked me to the T station where he proceeded to tell me how attracted he was to me and wanted to go out again. He pulled out his cell phone and told me to call him. I said good night and just bolted. I ran to catch the train and laughed and cried the whole way home. I have learned my lesson about dating non LDS guys. Never again.

3. I had a little admirer in my new ward. He was socially awkward and did not pick up on my social cues that I was not interested in him. He is a nice guy, but his actions towards me just made church feel a little uncomfortable to the point that I had to make sure I sat between two friends and avoided him. I finally told him I was not interested and if you want to know his response, email me. I wish him the best, but he was not for me.

After things like this, I wonder what is wrong with me? Why do I attract such odd guys? It drives me crazy and makes me hate dating. The other week, we had this FHE where it was dividing into small dinner groups and I did not go because all I could think was I will just end up with more socially awkward guys. Sometimes, I feel some people think I should just settle for any guy. But I don't feel that way. With marriage, you cannot just settle for anything. For the first offering. Some days, I am just so jealous of Renee and Nathan. I envy them. I do, but it passes. They have everything I want. I just hate that this is such a difficult part of my life. I feel that everything for me has to be this huge challenge. Just, what is wrong with me? I feel it has to be me.

So, those with significant others, cherish your loved ones. Have a great Valentine's day!!!