Update!

I know it has been a long time since I last posted, but life got in the way and this fell by the way side. A lot has changed since January. I have gone through a break up, which showed me how strong I really am, though there were some stumbles I had to overcome. During this time, my dad told me I was never going to be along and I was not. I had my family and friends who gave me all the love and support I could ever ask for. I am grateful for them, especially my sister and brother-in-law.

During this time, I reexamined and my life and decided I needed to make some changes because I did not like where I was. The first change I made was to move where I parked at work. At the time, I realized it was the only thing I could change. And this move spawned many more changes. It is funny how little thing like this changed everything. From here, I realized I did not like where I was living. I had four roommates, four female roommates. And I tried a financial responsibility that weighed heavily on me. Plus, there was so much drama going on, that I wanted out, so bad.

So at the end of February I decided to move out and live on my own. I needed a fresh start, which included a new home and a new ward. I needed to make these changes so I could move forward. If not, I was going to stay stuck where I was. So I found a new place to live and moved. I live on my own now. And I love it. No more roommate drama. A new ward where I can meet new people. I did not realize how much I hated my life until I left the situation I was in. By moving, I feel like I can breath again. That everything will be alright and that I am where I am suppose to be at this moment. Plus, my commute to work is shorter. Which is just an added bonus!

The view from my new place!

Happy 80th Birthday!!!

This past week, my grandfather turned 80 years old. So my aunt and uncle throw a party for him. Renee, Lewis, and I drove down for it. It was in St. George, Utah. It was nice to get out of Salt Lake City for awhile and to see our parents and family. My grandpa's birthday was held at my aunt and uncle's house. They served a wonderful meal, which included ribs. The party was amazing. And we are all so thankful for all the effort Rich and Gail put into it. You guys are rock stars!

My grandpa is one of the most amazing people I know. He is kind and loving. And most of all, he is devoted to his family. He never asks for anything and is an incredible giver of his time and energy. My aunt put together a book of memories for my grandpa. It included stories and thoughts from his children and grandchild. The theme of them was how much we love him and how grateful we are to have him in our lives. He has always been there for us through everything.

At the party, my grandpa told me, Renee, and Lewis about his time in the military. He was drafted and was suppose to go to Korea. Because of this, he was going to wait to marry my grandma after his time in Korea ended. He really did not want to go to Korea. And he never set foot in the country. Instead, he ended up as a supply sergeant in California before being sent to Washington. He was incredibly lucky more than once that he never had to go to Korea. Each time, it seemed something came up that kept him in the U.S. It was the Lord watching over him. He knew my grandpa had other important things to do, like marry my grandma and start his own family.

Today, my grandfather is the proud father of three wonderful children, the loving grandfather of nine grandchildren, and the happy great grandfather of thirteen great grand kids. He is loved fiercely by all of them. We all look up to him and the example he has set forth for all of us.

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Gail bringing out the chocolate birthday cake! And that is 80 candles!

Renee, Grandpa, and I

The guys' poker game!

Halloween Half

A week ago, this past Saturday, my friend (and roommate) Linnea and I ran the Halloween Half marathon. The night before, we went and picked up our packets at the University Mall in Provo, Utah. It was kind of chaotic. After getting my packet, I noticed that somehow, I was registered as a male. It came as quite a surprise to me!


For this half marathon, everyone dressed up in Halloween costumes. Many people were very creative. Sadly, I did not bring my camera to the start line. One guys dressed up as a shower...well as the shower scene from the Karate Kid. I dressed up as a pink fairy and Linnea dressed up as a pink bunny. Many people were dressed up as Where's Waldo and there were many fairies.
The morning of the marathon, we had to be at the mall to catch the bus at 6 though the race did not start until 9. It was freezing cold. Our race began up around Sundance in Provo Canyon. We ran down Provo Canyon to this park right outside of the Riverwoods shopping area in Orem. The anticipation just built up that morning. I really wanted it to begin. This was my first half marathon. And honestly, I was kind of nervous to run it. That is 13.1 miles. The most I had run in training was 11.5 miles. I would like to thank my sister and her husband for letting me run to their house for the past few Saturdays and then giving me a ride home.

As the race began, I started with a slow pace. The first five miles were downhill. You do not want to sprint down because you will waste your energy for the rest of the race and it will cause havoc to your leg muscles. I had my ipod with me and jammed to a lot of Britney Spears and Kesha. It was a good mix with a good beat. My goal was to run the entire race. The first three miles flew by. And then before I knew it I was at mile 6. The whole time, I just keep telling myself "you can do this." I was running this marathon for myself. It was not about my time or anything else. I wanted to prove that I could do this.

As mile 8 approached, I was hurting. I started saying to myself, "Just keep running, just keep running" (instead of "just keep swimming, just keeping swimming). I kept counting down the miles. I was running about a ten minute mile. However, when I past mile 9, I never saw a sign for mile 10. It kind of threw me. Because the next thing I knew, I was at mile 11. Mile 11 was tough. I was tired and hurting. However, I knew once I got to 12, I was in the home stretch and would have some support. After running for 11 straight miles, I walk/ran mile 11.

When mile 12 came, I wanted it to be over but knew I had to make it to the finish line. When I started walking, this woman came up behind me and said "finish strong." I started to pick up my pace. Along the way, Ben meet me on the course and started running with me to the end. Then we meet up with my sister and brother-in-law. They both ran behind me. Ben kept telling me I was so close and that I was going to make it. All three helped me to the finish line. Before the finish line, I saw my friend Merisa and her little girls cheering me on. It was so cute! And truthfully, I do not think I would have gotten there without them. Their support meant everything because I felt like I had nothing left.

After crossing the finish line, they handed me my medal. I ran the half marathon in 2:22. And because I was in the male division, I finished 119th in the 25 to 29 division. So funny!!! Renee took some after photos. I may have to bribe her for them. Just kidding.

I learned from this race, that we are capable of doing anything we set our mind too. And we are never alone in our pursuits. I had support that helped me get to the end. That made an incredible difference. These amazing people who came out to cheer me on. I could not have asked for more. Also, I learned once again that I can do difficult things. Though I think I cannot do them...I can. We can do anything. We just have to believe in ourselves!

Half Marathon

So after much thought, I have decided to run a half marathon next month. I have gone back and forth about running a half marathon. Part of me just did not want to do it but another part of me wanted to prove that I can complete a half marathon or 13 mile run. I was a little scared...but I do not like to live my life with regrets. I feel like I can do this. And I am running with my roommate.

We are running the Halloween Half marathon down in Provo, Utah. And we get to run dressed up if we chose too. I am already thinking about my costume, which may just be a Halloween t-shirt. Who knows?

The training schedule has been fun! And grueling. This past Saturday, I ran 10 miles. I really ran 10 miles. It was hard, but I did it. Now, if I can just tack on three more, I have the half marathon completed. It is amazing how resilient your body is. Though my muscles hurt after my long run, I am getting my body in shape to run this long distance.

Embrace your Womanly Curves!!!

For the past few weeks, I have been attending Zumba classes. This past week, we had a guest instructor who was awesome. When we get to this one song near the end of class, our instructor told us to "embrace our curves." That is what the dance moves we do is all about and it is one of my favorite workouts. However, her statement got me thinking about my own body and all women's bodies along with other conversations I have had with people. I guess I am using this post to vent one of the many frustrations I have been dealing with lately.

After losing 80 pounds, I struggled with my body image. I thought I had to be stick thin. When I moved to Boston three years ago, my weight dwindled down to an unhealthy place. If I gained any ounces, I punished my body by working out non-stop and basically stopped eating. I was irritable and unhappy all the time. Finally, I realized I had to stop. What I was doing was not good for me. I had to find a balance where I maintained my weight and was healthy and accept that I was not a person meant to be stick thin. I have curves and my stomach is never going to be rock hard. My stomach will always be my problem area. It is just a bunch of extra skin and some days it bothers me.

However, weight is an emotional issue for women. Many things are tied to it. I have learned that being thin makes girls as insecure as girls who are overweight. Truthfully, I think thin girls are more insecure. We just need to be comfortable with who we are. It took me a long time to learn that...to learn to be happy with my body. The Lord gave me this body and expects me to take care of it. When I was starving myself and running like crazy, I was disrespecting my body. My turning point came one day when I looked in the mirror and I did not like the person who looked back at me. I frightened myself. I had to change and be more accepting of myself.

The hardest struggle was accepting was accepting attention from men. I felt I was the same person as I was before. I gained more confidence, but I was still me. In explaining this to a friend one day, this person told me that I was always there, I just had to find her. I had to let her out of the place where I kept her hidden. These words have stuck with me and mean so much to me. I am who I always was, but it is like I had to release a part of me that I kept hidden away. That was buried by my weight.

I love my curves. I am never going to be stick thin or a rail. That is not me. My goal is to be healthy and to exercise. Lately though I have struggled with running. There is this mental block. In so many ways, I feel like the joy has been taken away due to some circumstances. And getting over this mental block is killing me. It really is. Instead, I have been going to Zumba, which is this aerobic dance class, three times a week. I love Zumba. I am not the most coordinated person, but it is a good workout and so much fun. I allow myself to get lost in the moves. And I realized going to this class is exactly what I needed. It gives me some separation from running for the time being. I am not sure how to go back to running. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but it is hard. So I am loving my womanly curves. And you should love yours too!!!

Happy 4th!!!

Surprise, Surprise, I have finally decided to write on my blog. There are no excuses from my lack of updates unless you except laziness. Before I talk about July 4th, I want thank my sister and brother-in-law for celebrating my birthday with me. They decorated their apartment, made me dinner, and Renee made a delicious cake. I showed her this oreo cake on a food blog and she made her own. Here are a few highlights:

Decorated apartment

The fantastic Oreo cake

The inside of the cake--the best part!!!

I spent this past weekend in Southern California with my family. For the 4th, we had a barbeque and went swimming. It was so much fun! The best part of going home to visit, is seeing my nephews, E and W. They are so cute!And it is always great to catch up with my brother and sister-in-law and parents.

With E. He is wearing a shirt his mom made for him and his brother. She is very creative!

Wrangling the little ones!

E turning the camera on his mom and brother.

W needed his turn behind the camera too!

W began some Kung Fu fighting!

The showdown between brothers!

The hug (and my favorite pic)

I hope everyone had a happy fourth of July!!!

A week to forget...

This past week, I literally could not remember anything. I do not know what happened, but I experience some senior moments. Here are some highlights:

1. Twice, I forgot to get off the elevator at work when it stopped at my floor (the first time was on Monday morning).

2. I forgot where I parked my car. And both times, I had friends with me. They just laughed at me as I lead them through the parking lot searching for my car.

3. I forgot that Lewis and Renee were coming over to my house on Thursday.

4. I could not find my email the contained my travel information for my upcoming work trip. However, thanks to the help of the staff assistant, I found it.

So I did not have the best week and I attribute it to being tired and moving and a few other things. Oh, well. I guess all I can do is laugh about it.