No Such Thing as an Ordinary Life

Happy 80th Birthday!!!

2011-11-19T19:27:00.004-05:00

This past week, my grandfather turned 80 years old. So my aunt and uncle throw a party for him. Renee, Lewis, and I drove down for it. It was in St. George, Utah. It was nice to get out of Salt Lake City for awhile and to see our parents and family. My grandpa's birthday was held at my aunt and uncle's house. They served a wonderful meal, which included ribs. The party was amazing. And we are all so thankful for all the effort Rich and Gail put into it. You guys are rock stars!

My grandpa is one of the most amazing people I know. He is kind and loving. And most of all, he is devoted to his family. He never asks for anything and is an incredible giver of his time and energy. My aunt put together a book of memories for my grandpa. It included stories and thoughts from his children and grandchild. The theme of them was how much we love him and how grateful we are to have him in our lives. He has always been there for us through everything.

At the party, my grandpa told me, Renee, and Lewis about his time in the military. He was drafted and was suppose to go to Korea. Because of this, he was going to wait to marry my grandma after his time in Korea ended. He really did not want to go to Korea. And he never set foot in the country. Instead, he ended up as a supply sergeant in California before being sent to Washington. He was incredibly lucky more than once that he never had to go to Korea. Each time, it seemed something came up that kept him in the U.S. It was the Lord watching over him. He knew my grandpa had other important things to do, like marry my grandma and start his own family.

Today, my grandfather is the proud father of three wonderful children, the loving grandfather of nine grandchildren, and the happy great grandfather of thirteen great grand kids. He is loved fiercely by all of them. We all look up to him and the example he has set forth for all of us.

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Gail bringing out the chocolate birthday cake! And that is 80 candles!

Renee, Grandpa, and I

The guys' poker game!

Halloween Half

2011-10-31T13:28:00.006-04:00

A week ago, this past Saturday, my friend (and roommate) Linnea and I ran the Halloween Half marathon. The night before, we went and picked up our packets at the University Mall in Provo, Utah. It was kind of chaotic. After getting my packet, I noticed that somehow, I was registered as a male. It came as quite a surprise to me!

For this half marathon, everyone dressed up in Halloween costumes. Many people were very creative. Sadly, I did not bring my camera to the start line. One guys dressed up as a shower...well as the shower scene from the Karate Kid. I dressed up as a pink fairy and Linnea dressed up as a pink bunny. Many people were dressed up as Where's Waldo and there were many fairies.
The morning of the marathon, we had to be at the mall to catch the bus at 6 though the race did not start until 9. It was freezing cold. Our race began up around Sundance in Provo Canyon. We ran down Provo Canyon to this park right outside of the Riverwoods shopping area in Orem. The anticipation just built up that morning. I really wanted it to begin. This was my first half marathon. And honestly, I was kind of nervous to run it. That is 13.1 miles. The most I had run in training was 11.5 miles. I would like to thank my sister and her husband for letting me run to their house for the past few Saturdays and then giving me a ride home.

As the race began, I started with a slow pace. The first five miles were downhill. You do not want to sprint down because you will waste your energy for the rest of the race and it will cause havoc to your leg muscles. I had my ipod with me and jammed to a lot of Britney Spears and Kesha. It was a good mix with a good beat. My goal was to run the entire race. The first three miles flew by. And then before I knew it I was at mile 6. The whole time, I just keep telling myself "you can do this." I was running this marathon for myself. It was not about my time or anything else. I wanted to prove that I could do this.

As mile 8 approached, I was hurting. I started saying to myself, "Just keep running, just keep running" (instead of "just keep swimming, just keeping swimming). I kept counting down the miles. I was running about a ten minute mile. However, when I past mile 9, I never saw a sign for mile 10. It kind of threw me. Because the next thing I knew, I was at mile 11. Mile 11 was tough. I was tired and hurting. However, I knew once I got to 12, I was in the home stretch and would have some support. After running for 11 straight miles, I walk/ran mile 11.

When mile 12 came, I wanted it to be over but knew I had to make it to the finish line. When I started walking, this woman came up behind me and said "finish strong." I started to pick up my pace. Along the way, Ben meet me on the course and started running with me to the end. Then we meet up with my sister and brother-in-law. They both ran behind me. Ben kept telling me I was so close and that I was going to make it. All three helped me to the finish line. Before the finish line, I saw my friend Merisa and her little girls cheering me on. It was so cute! And truthfully, I do not think I would have gotten there without them. Their support meant everything because I felt like I had nothing left.

After crossing the finish line, they handed me my medal. I ran the half marathon in 2:22. And because I was in the male division, I finished 119th in the 25 to 29 division. So funny!!! Renee took some after photos. I may have to bribe her for them. Just kidding.

I learned from this race, that we are capable of doing anything we set our mind too. And we are never alone in our pursuits. I had support that helped me get to the end. That made an incredible difference. These amazing people who came out to cheer me on. I could not have asked for more. Also, I learned once again that I can do difficult things. Though I think I cannot do them...I can. We can do anything. We just have to believe in ourselves!

Half Marathon

2011-09-26T11:20:00.002-04:00

So after much thought, I have decided to run a half marathon next month. I have gone back and forth about running a half marathon. Part of me just did not want to do it but another part of me wanted to prove that I can complete a half marathon or 13 mile run. I was a little scared...but I do not like to live my life with regrets. I feel like I can do this. And I am running with my roommate.

We are running the Halloween Half marathon down in Provo, Utah. And we get to run dressed up if we chose too. I am already thinking about my costume, which may just be a Halloween t-shirt. Who knows?

The training schedule has been fun! And grueling. This past Saturday, I ran 10 miles. I really ran 10 miles. It was hard, but I did it. Now, if I can just tack on three more, I have the half marathon completed. It is amazing how resilient your body is. Though my muscles hurt after my long run, I am getting my body in shape to run this long distance.

Embrace your Womanly Curves!!!

2011-07-13T22:56:00.002-04:00

For the past few weeks, I have been attending Zumba classes. This past week, we had a guest instructor who was awesome. When we get to this one song near the end of class, our instructor told us to "embrace our curves." That is what the dance moves we do is all about and it is one of my favorite workouts. However, her statement got me thinking about my own body and all women's bodies along with other conversations I have had with people. I guess I am using this post to vent one of the many frustrations I have been dealing with lately.

After losing 80 pounds, I struggled with my body image. I thought I had to be stick thin. When I moved to Boston three years ago, my weight dwindled down to an unhealthy place. If I gained any ounces, I punished my body by working out non-stop and basically stopped eating. I was irritable and unhappy all the time. Finally, I realized I had to stop. What I was doing was not good for me. I had to find a balance where I maintained my weight and was healthy and accept that I was not a person meant to be stick thin. I have curves and my stomach is never going to be rock hard. My stomach will always be my problem area. It is just a bunch of extra skin and some days it bothers me.

However, weight is an emotional issue for women. Many things are tied to it. I have learned that being thin makes girls as insecure as girls who are overweight. Truthfully, I think thin girls are more insecure. We just need to be comfortable with who we are. It took me a long time to learn that...to learn to be happy with my body. The Lord gave me this body and expects me to take care of it. When I was starving myself and running like crazy, I was disrespecting my body. My turning point came one day when I looked in the mirror and I did not like the person who looked back at me. I frightened myself. I had to change and be more accepting of myself.

The hardest struggle was accepting was accepting attention from men. I felt I was the same person as I was before. I gained more confidence, but I was still me. In explaining this to a friend one day, this person told me that I was always there, I just had to find her. I had to let her out of the place where I kept her hidden. These words have stuck with me and mean so much to me. I am who I always was, but it is like I had to release a part of me that I kept hidden away. That was buried by my weight.

I love my curves. I am never going to be stick thin or a rail. That is not me. My goal is to be healthy and to exercise. Lately though I have struggled with running. There is this mental block. In so many ways, I feel like the joy has been taken away due to some circumstances. And getting over this mental block is killing me. It really is. Instead, I have been going to Zumba, which is this aerobic dance class, three times a week. I love Zumba. I am not the most coordinated person, but it is a good workout and so much fun. I allow myself to get lost in the moves. And I realized going to this class is exactly what I needed. It gives me some separation from running for the time being. I am not sure how to go back to running. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but it is hard. So I am loving my womanly curves. And you should love yours too!!!

Happy 4th!!!

2011-07-05T22:06:00.004-04:00

Surprise, Surprise, I have finally decided to write on my blog. There are no excuses from my lack of updates unless you except laziness. Before I talk about July 4th, I want thank my sister and brother-in-law for celebrating my birthday with me. They decorated their apartment, made me dinner, and Renee made a delicious cake. I showed her this oreo cake on a food blog and she made her own. Here are a few highlights:

Decorated apartment

The fantastic Oreo cake

The inside of the cake--the best part!!!

I spent this past weekend in Southern California with my family. For the 4th, we had a barbeque and went swimming. It was so much fun! The best part of going home to visit, is seeing my nephews, E and W. They are so cute!And it is always great to catch up with my brother and sister-in-law and parents.

With E. He is wearing a shirt his mom made for him and his brother. She is very creative!

Wrangling the little ones!

E turning the camera on his mom and brother.

W needed his turn behind the camera too!

W began some Kung Fu fighting!

The showdown between brothers!

The hug (and my favorite pic)

I hope everyone had a happy fourth of July!!!

A week to forget...

2011-04-02T17:26:00.002-04:00

This past week, I literally could not remember anything. I do not know what happened, but I experience some senior moments. Here are some highlights:

1. Twice, I forgot to get off the elevator at work when it stopped at my floor (the first time was on Monday morning).

2. I forgot where I parked my car. And both times, I had friends with me. They just laughed at me as I lead them through the parking lot searching for my car.

3. I forgot that Lewis and Renee were coming over to my house on Thursday.

4. I could not find my email the contained my travel information for my upcoming work trip. However, thanks to the help of the staff assistant, I found it.

So I did not have the best week and I attribute it to being tired and moving and a few other things. Oh, well. I guess all I can do is laugh about it.

I HEART Bieber!!!

2011-02-20T10:45:00.003-05:00

Back in December, Renee and I were at the movies when we saw a preview for the Justin Bieber movie "Never Say Never." Because it is us, we started joking about how much we wanted to see that movie because we love Justin Bieber with all our hearts. Since December, whenever we saw a movie poster or trailer, we would be like "we are totally seeing that movie." In January, our joke became reality. We decided that we were going to so see this movie. Yes, a movie about a 16 year old pop star who brings girls to tears. We thought it was hilarious.

This past week, our dream came true. Renee, Lewis (isn't he the world's best husband to endure this movie), and I went to see it. It was not a bad movie. I learned that Justin Bieber is a pretty talented musician. He taught himself to play the drums, piano, guitar, and some other instruments. He is Canadian. What is not to love about that? And finally, he can bring girls to tears, especially when they are fighting over who loves him more. This reminded me of my teenage crush on the Backstreet Boys. I loved them during my teenage years, but I do not think I over cried over them. I remember hurrying home to watch Total Request Live to see if they best NSYNC out for the number on video. Those were the days.

But the Bieber movie was entertaining. However, I realized that there is one scene that will not make sense to you if you have not seen the new Karate Kid movie with Jaden Smith or at least heard the Karate Kid soundtrack. I finally saw the Karate Kid last night and I felt like I had come full circle. Renee will tell you that one of her favorite parts of the movie was when I asked "What does this song have to do with karate and China?" That is why knowing the Karate Kid connection is key.

Overall, it was a fun movie to go see and I figured if I was a 13 year old, I would definitely be in love with Justin Bieber.

Renee and I kissing our boy!

2010 Reflection

2011-01-02T20:31:00.002-05:00

Wow, I cannot believe it is 2011 already. This past year has just flown by. I have spent the past few days reflecting on 2010 and how my life has changed for the better. When last year began, I made a few resolutions. I wanted to continue living a healthy lifestyle, finish graduate school,find a job, and reevaluate what relationships in my life were truly important and worth keeping. I have continued living a healthy lifestyle, most of the time. I work out six days a week and try to watch what I eat. I have this insane love of running and my goal this year is to run some 10K races and I have a roommate who is trying to convince me to give a half marathon a try. We will see what happens. When I get the chance I like to go to Zumba classes. I love Zumba. Zumba is basically an aerobic Latin dance class. It is so much fun and a good work out. And so who cares if I do not have the best rhythm, it is a real great work out.

I graduated with my Master's in May. I was so happy to have finished my degree. It was two years of hard work, but it was worth it. After graduating, I stayed in Boston as I looked for a job on the West Coast. While I loved my time in Boston, after much prayer and contemplation, I realized that I needed to move back home for awhile as I looked for a job. While it was hard to leave behind my friends, I knew this was the right move for me. And by following this path, my life changed for the better.

Returning to California, I applied for every job out there in my field. One day, I came across this position working for the LDS church. After spending a day thinking about whether to apply or not, I finally submitted my resume. All I thought was this is never going to happen...not in a million years. So one day while I was babysitting my two little nephews, I received a call from a Utah number and a message was left that the church would like to interview me for this position. I could not believe it. After talking with the man who is now my boss, he persuaded me to come up to Salt Lake for an in person interview. I left this interview knowing that I had made it to the second round of interviews. Than before I knew it I had gotten the job with a little hitch. They wanted me to start my job in a week. I had a week to pack up my life in Cali (honestly, most of my stuff was still in boxes) and get to SLC. So I had a job with great benefits, but no clue where I was going to live. So on Saturday, after my job offer, I found a place to live. Everything just worked out so well and the silver lining, I now live in the same town with my sister.

It is funny because a year ago, I never would have imagined that I would be living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I would have told you "no." I thought I would end up back in California, but that was not part of the Lord's plan for me. He needs me here. I need to be here because this is exactly where I am suppose to be. There is no doubt in my mind. Things are working out as they should be and I love all the possibilities that lay before me.

The last resolution on my list was to reevaluate that relationships in my life. Honestly, I have been doing this for the past two years. I realized there was many relationships in my life that had just emotionally drained me. I went to a place that scared me...With the help of some incredible people, I pulled myself up when I finally figured out that I needed to have healthy relationships in my life. I needed relationships where I was treated with love and respect. I realized for this to happen that I needed to change myself, which began with finally standing up for myself and telling people that "hey, you cannot treat me however you want" because I deserve so much more than that.

I have incredible parents, who love me unconditionally and would do anything for me. They want the best for me and believed everything would work out for me even when I had lost hope. Thanks Mom for never giving up on me and knowing that it would all work out in the end. Some days, I wish I had your faith. My sister is my best friend and I love her so much. Her husband is not that bad either. Just kidding! Lewis, you are a great brother-in-law. My brother and his wife are amazing. Laurel is a great sister-in-law and I am grateful for the friendship we have. She is a great mother with the two cutest boys, who I miss everyday. I miss my games of tag with Eli and West. I feel like I have really strengthened these bonds with my immediate family.

Through this time, I have developed a close relationship with my cousin Jessica. She is an answer to a prayer. In times when I have struggled, she has provided me guidance that I so desperately needed or just send me a card that made my day. I have shared all my highs and lows with her. It is funny how our lives have paralleled each other in so many ways. Thank you for everything Jessica and thank you just does not seem like enough. I have loved sharing these past few years with you and look forward to sharing everything else that is to come with you. I could not ask for a better cousin and friend. I hope to come visit you one of these days and play with you cute kids. It is one of my resolutions for this coming year.

I am still in this reevaluation process. It is not easy and some days, it is a struggle. But I want to move forward on my own terms and not on the terms of others. When I tried to live according to the terms of others, I lost my way and became a person I did not like. I now try to live every day according to what makes me happy and by doing this, I have found who I truly am. I love who I am. It may have taken me years to get here, but it is through these trials and triumphs that have made me who I am today.

I view this next year with great hope and faith. Good things are coming as I continue along this path the Lord has set out for me. My main goal for this following year, is to be happy.

Christmas...

2010-12-19T10:13:00.002-05:00

I still cannot believe that Christmas is less than a week away. I guess time flies when you are having fun! No, time flies when you are working and living your life to the fullest. For Christmas this year, I am going to Florida with my parents. We are specifically going to Orlando where we will go to places likes Disney World and the new Harry Potter wizarding world. I think my dad is most excited about that one. He loves Harry Potter more than life it self. Just kidding!!! It will be fun though I joke that I am going by default. What does that mean? Both my brother and sister are spending Christmas with their in-laws this year so I am the one who gets to go along with my parents on this trip. I do not mind at all. I am excited to be going to Florida. In all reality though, I will miss having my siblings their, but that is how life is. I want them to have great Christmases. Both of them will be celebrating Christmas with a brother-in-law who just returned from a mission. How cool is that?

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Some weeks are just better than others

2010-12-05T10:50:00.002-05:00

This past week at work was hard. It just was. It just did not start off right. Last Sunday night when I returned from California, I arrived in the middle of a blizzard. Yes, I left sunshine for eighteen inches of snow up at my house. This is the kind of snowfall you get when you life up in the benches and you can tell that I am not the biggest fan of snow, but I will deal with it to the best of my ability. Though the snow stopped by Monday morning, we had to dig out our driveway and our cars. In doing this, I was just late to work. There was no way I was going to be on time, but my boss understood. So Monday was okay and Tuesday was too. But by the end of Wednesday, I was just mentally exhausted and it carried over to Thursday and Friday too. We are working on some big projects that just take a lot of you. I would come home and be like, "I just want to sleep." Wednesday I laid on my bed for a few hours, destressing. I was so excited for the weekend.

Yesterday, helped me get over my rough week. I took my sister out to get manicures for her birthday (Yes, I know her birthday was in October, but she did not care). That was so much fun and then we had lunch after. I love hanging out with my sister and I love the pizza at Cafe Trio. After lunch, we decided to go shopping. The highlight Costco because we went around and tried all the samples. I ended the day by going to watch a friend of my play the piano at Assembly Hall in Temple Square for the LDS Business College with my roommate. It was amazing. After, we walked around Temple Square and looked at the lights. I love Christmas!!!

This coming week will be better as I begin it in Northern California!

Turkey! Pie!

2010-11-22T19:38:00.003-05:00

Two weekends ago, my roommates and I throw a "mock" Thanksgiving. It was tons of fun and was the first time I ever cooked a turkey by myself, which was an interesting experience. As my roommates had to go to church early, I was left with the task of getting the turkey in the oven. Mind you, this was a 20 pound turkey. So I prepared the turkey to be cooked by flouring the oven bag you cook the turkey in. After this, I diced celery and onions and spread them on the bag's bottom, which I placed in a roasting pan. Next, I gave the turkey its very own butter bath. Once I finished this, I then realized I had to get the turkey into the bag, all by myself. So I opened the bag as wide as I could and then just hefted the turkey into it. I am still amazed I got it in there, but I learned that next time I cook a turkey, a second pair of hands would be great. However, the turkey tasted so good. I was quite proud of myself. Again, I give all the credit to my mom, who is the best cook I know. It is just in the Litchfield/Hall genes. Along with the turkey, I made stuffing. My roommate made a chocolate pie she covered in meringue. That was delicious too! It was a fun night all around. And it tasted oh so good.

The following is pictures of my turkey:

The pie my roommate made:

So this past weekend, I decided to make a pecan pie. I love making pies for some reason. I promised Lewis I would make this one for him. It was quite easy to make as all you do is mix together corn syrup, brown sugar, melted butter, molasses, eggs, flour, and vanilla and dump it over the pecans you placed in a pie shell. The pie tastes really good, especially warmed up with ice cream. Here is the end result:

I am so excited for Thanksgiving. In my family, it is a total group effort these days. I am looking forward to going to California and spending time with my family, especially with all the snow that is rolling into Utah at the moment.

Cake, Stuffing and Gardner Village...

2010-11-13T22:04:00.005-05:00

I was going to post this last Monday, but life got in the way. Last Sunday, I decided to make a Buttermilk pound cake. I borrowed a bundt cake pan from Renee and went to work. However, the most important lesson I learned when making a pound cake is to flour the pan because if you do not the cake comes out in pieces. And though it looks a little funny, it tasted oh so good!

The cake

After making the cake and attending church, I went over to Renee and Lewis' for dinner. Renee and I made my mom's stuffing. Her stuffing recipe is truly amazing and because it is so good, I basically will not eat anyone else's stuffing. This stuffing just is so delicious. I meant to take a picture before we dug in, but I forgot so I made Renee hold up the leftovers. I am planning on making this stuffing tomorrow for my apartment's mock Thanksgiving.

Renee and the stuffing

Today, my roommates and I along with a good friend of ours went to Gardner Village. I had never been here before, but it was so fun. The village is filled with shops that include quilting, knitting, sewing, candy, etc. I loved it. Their Christmas shop was amazing and I bought some ornaments for my family's upcoming ornament exchange. We also visited their candy shop!
Here are some photos:

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

If You Don't Believe in God after reading this story...

2010-10-30T11:05:00.002-04:00

At my work, we have daily missionary devotionals every morning. During these devotionals, a spiritual thought or scripture is given. Yesterday, one of my co-workers gave the spiritual thought. Since we work for the Family History Department, her thought was motivated by her love of the story of LDS President Wilford Woodruff doing the temple work for our Founding Fathers in the St. George temple. Then she told the following story about George Washington during the French and Indian War in 1755.

The Lord protected this man because he knew that Washington was going to play a pivotal role in our country's founding. Without him who knows what direction our country would have taken. The Indian Chief realized that this man was truly protected by the power of God. Washington realized this too and always told how this story helped confirm that God has given him a great calling in this life. And what is sad is that this story was taught in our schools 1934 and then it was removed because heaven forbid we teach our children that God does exist and performs miracles. Washington believed in the Lord. The Lord protected him and others witnesses this protection. He never forgot what happened to him that day during the French and Indian War and we should not either. Maybe it is time for our country to remember the Lord's pivotal role in our country's founding. We should not be taking stories like this out of our textbooks. What would Washington think? It was one of the most pivotal moments of his life and now people just want to sweep it under the rug.

God exists. I have a strong testimony of his divine power and protection. He always provides me with guidance and protection. I love him!

Settling in...

2010-10-24T18:13:00.004-04:00

It seems like I have lived in Salt Lake City for longer than three weeks. And that is a real good sign for me because I know without a doubt this is where I am suppose to be. Though moving up here was crazy and hectic, I am settling in quite nicely. I arrived up here on a Friday, moved into my new place on Saturday, and began work on Monday. How did I do this? Well... I had help. My sister, brother-in-law, and mom were great. They helped move my boxes and unpack. Renee was awesome and such a trooper. On the Saturday of my move-in, she went with me when I bought my bed. As I wanted to get my bed that day so I could sleep in on it that night, we told the sales guy we would pick it up from the warehouse. If you are wondering where my brother-in-law was, he woke up sick Saturday. We got my sister's truck and went to pick up the bed. It just barely fit into her the bed of her truck, but we made it back to my house with it and the moved it in. Also, when I purchased my bed, I got a free XBox 360 with it. Truthfully, I did not really want it because I am not a big video game player. So Renee happily took it off my hands and now it resides happily in her house. Lewis and she have given it a great home and lots of love.

In Salt Lake, I live with two other girls in the basement apartment of a nice house. My room looks out to the backyard and I have plenty of sunlight. I love it though we have deer that like to wander around the property. One night when I came home one scared me when it jumped out of the bushes. Also, I have woken up to one eating apples from the tree outside my window in the morning. Hopefully, I never hit one! My new roommates are fantastic and we get along well. One works at a bakery. She has a degree in culinary arts and she always brings back cookies that are so good. My other roommates goes to University of Utah and is working on two Masters'. We have a lot of fun together. My singles' ward out here is amazing. It is full of singles who are either in graduate school or working. My new Bishop is wonderful. He is so understanding and compassionate.

The view from my window

I love my new job. I am constantly learning everyday though some days can be a little overwhelming, but I work with a great team. The one part of my job that I love more than anything else is working with missionaries, especially, missionary couples. They have taught me so much about service and love. There is one particular sister I have really bonded with. Everyday, she checks in with me to make sure I am doing okay and gives me a hug. I am well cared for and happy. I am right where I am meant to be. Everything has gone so seamlessly. And though this should scare me, it does not. I am thankful for how everything has worked out. The spirit has confirmed that I am on the right path.

For so awhile there, I was worried about where my life was going. It stressed me out, but my mom was right all the time. She told me to be patient and that things would work out for me. She let me feel what I needed to feel and never told me it was wrong or how to feel. Instead, she focused on understanding why I felt that way and always listened when I needed somebody to talk too. Thanks mom!

I'm glad to be settling in so well. I love that I have health insurance and a good salary. I am thankful for a wonderful and supportive family and friends.

Happy Birthday!

2010-10-16T21:36:00.009-04:00

Happy Birthday to my wonderful sister Renee! I know you wish you were spending it hugging a giant yellow macaroni noodle again in Boston. Just kidding. Have a wonderful day with lots of cake. You are the best wife, sister, daughter, aunt, and friend. I am so glad you are my sister and my best friend (and I am very happy that we now know only live 10 minutes from each other). Thanks for always listening and always being there when you are needed. You are amazing. Happy Birthday!!! I love you. Plus, I decided to include some fun photos to show everyone how awesome you are!!! Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!

The Next Chapter

2010-09-30T17:38:00.002-04:00

After months of applying for jobs, I can officially say that I have a job. For the past month, I have gone through a few rounds of interviews for this position in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' (LDS) Family History Department. My first interview was a month ago. I flew up there and stayed the night with Renee and her husband and had a good interview, which admittedly I was nervous for. But they saw something they liked and the next day, I was called and invited back for a second interview. This second round was kind of a little chaotic as I flew in the morning of and was back to California that afternoon. Again, I felt that I had done well, but I kept the attitude that anything could happen. This interview was on a Friday. That Monday, much to my surprise and delight, I was called and asked to come back for a third and final interview that Thursday. After these interviews, I was called the next day and officially offered the job. I signed my offer letter and will start my new job this coming Monday.

But things have worked out so well for me that it kind of scares me. I found a place to live quickly and just feel that this is so meant to be. But sometimes I feel when things work out like this for me that something bad is suppose to happen. However, pushing these fears aside, I am concentrating on the joy of having a new job with good pay and good benefits. Plus, one of the best benefits is that I will be living close to my sister, who is my best friend. She is awesome and I am so excited that we can be living in the same city again. So wish me luck.

Also, I want to thank everyone for their love, support, and prayers!

Picture update....

2010-08-30T20:03:00.004-04:00

The following are some highlights from my summer since I returned home to California. One of my favorite things to do is to go swimming with my nephews, especially Eli. Nathan and Laurel are teaching him how to swim without wearing his life vest. He is learning quickly. Also, my dad and Nathan have been having Eli jump off the rocks by our pool and the diving board into the pool. For some reason, Eli refuses to go down the slide. But he likes to jump off the diving board or the side of the pool into my dad's arms. Also, we celebrated my mom's 55th birthday. Below, you will see her with her favorite gift courtesy of my sister, Renee. When she saw it in Target, she was like I have to give this to mom.

Nathan readying Eli to jump into my dad's arms.

Nathan and Eli. I think Nathan may have been trying to convince Eli to go off the slide and he is refusing.

Eli preparing to jump off the rocks.

And he does it!!!

West and I chilling. He is so cute! I love having him give me high-fives or doing "jumpy-jumpies" with him.

My mom before opening Renee's special gift.

Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. That is a huge bin of cheese balls. My mom loves them.

For Uncle Lewis...

2010-08-10T22:17:00.004-04:00

Today, when I was babysitting my nephews, I asked Eli if he wanted to write a letter to his Aunt Renee and Uncle Lewis. He said he wanted too. However, we never got to the letter part because Eli decided he wanted to draw pictures of Renee and Lewis. So he decided to begin with Uncle Lewis and he ended with Uncle Lewis. I am sorry Aunt Renee, but your picture never got made. But I loved the portraits he made of Lewis. They are so awesome. Eli did a wonderful job and he signed all of his pictures.

Forgiveness

2010-08-09T01:33:00.003-04:00

After meeting with a member of my Bishopric today, I have reflected a lot on forgiveness. This man, who is one of the most truly amazing people I know, and I started to discuss forgiveness after a question he asked me regarding family, specifically how my relationships were with my family members. I told him I was struggling, and this is a constant struggle and trial for me, I will freely admit that, as I know the Lord is trying to teach me something, with forgiving others. I have forgiven and forgotten, but I told him I was still struggling with forgiveness because I was tired of forgiving the same people over and over again. I hate that they feel like they can continue to hurt me because I will just automatically forgive them. The Lord commands that we forgive all. I think some of my struggle persists because I am tired of these people hurting me. Just stop!!!

However, I think I have found part of what I need to learn from this trial, I have learned that you can forgive and move on. The people you forgive no longer have to be part of your life because forgiveness does not automatically lead to a renewal of the relationship. Instead, forgiveness allows you to move forward and not backwards. You do not have to go back because I have been burned by going back and I hated the direction I was going. I am still struggling with some of the anger but I am at peace knowing that I am ridding of relationships that are not good for me. The sad part about this all, is that some of these people are family. But in reality, I really do not want them as my family. That is the other lesson I have learned on this journey of forgiveness. Just because you have biological ties, does not mean they are family. I have had some family just do awful things not only me, but to my mom and sister. We are so naturally inclined to forgive and just fall back into these old patterns, where it always ends the same way, we get hurt. And we just continue in this cycle, but I do not want to hurt anymore. I do not want to suffer at their hands. I have had enough. I am trying to break this cycle.

You see the wonderful thing about forgiveness, is that is allows us to move forward. To let go of the hurt and the pain. I am not one hundred percent at this stage yet, but I feel I have taken steps to get here. I have re prioritized how I want in my life as this is what two years living 3,000 miles away allows you to do. I pray every day that I can continue to move forward and just wash away these unhealthy relationships. I know I will have my down days, but I feel that if I just keep walking towards the light, towards God that I will be fine. That I can forgive, forget and move forward. I can move forward knowing exactly what I want in my life because I know exactly what I want. The counselor I spoke to agreed with me and urged me to continue moving forward.

Gotta love Noodles!

2010-07-30T18:50:00.002-04:00

Before leaving Boston, my friend Betsy was telling me how this big yellow noodle just showed up by her work place on day. She thought it somehow might be related to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. So when Renee came out here, Renee, Betsy, and I went to check out the noodle and found it out is part of this promotion Kraft is putting on this summer called "You Know You Love it." So doing what anybody does, we all took our pictures with it.

The noodle.

Renee and the noodle.

Me and the noodle.

Update!

2010-07-15T20:37:00.002-04:00

I thought I would give an update on the happenings of my life. I have decided to leave Boston in favor of California. After spending much of June contemplating my future and where I would like to work, I decided I wanted to work in California and the only way to get employers to take a serious look at my resume was to actually live in the state. So in a a week and a half I will be on my way back to California. I am taking this huge leap of faith, but I know it is the right decision. Plus, I have really struggled lately with living so far from my family. I miss them! I want to be nearer to them. I hate the distance. I really do. In all honesty, I cannot wait to see my nephews. They are so adorable. If two certain individuals play their cards right (i.e. buy me pretty gifts, just kidding), I will babysit every week. I do not even see it as babysitting though because I have so much fun with Eli and West.

While I am excited for this next step and for returning to California, leaving Boston will be hard. Though I will not miss the winters or the humidity, I will miss the friends I have out here. I know we will always be in touch and visit each other, but I have no idea how to say good bye. I have the most amazing friends out here. I really do. I could write forever about how fantastic they are and what an impact they have had and will continue to have on me. They have all made me a better person. I will be a sobbing mess by next weekend. I think this is part of the reason why I wanted to have Renee come out here and drive back with me. She knows me better than I know myself. She will listen to the tears or see if I am fighting some emotion, will make it come out.

So Renee and I will drive back across the country. I am just excited that we get to go through Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Miracles really do occur...

2010-07-05T16:01:00.002-04:00

This past week, I returned to California for a visit. It was so much fun! Renee and Lewis also came and we all stayed at Hotel La Lakey (or my parents house). As part of this vacation, Renee and Lewis said they would clean out my parents' garage. I do not know how many of you have ever seen or been in my their garage, but it is kind of gross. It was overcrowded with boxes. As three cats resided in there, there is cat hair and cat pee everywhere. Basically, you never wanted to go out there. So this past Friday, Renee, Lewis, and I and later my parents joined in, cleaned it up. We took three truckloads of stuff to DI and hosed everything down. I wish I would have taken a before picture, but here are some after pics! Yes, miracles do occur because who thought it would look this nice. Lewis and Renee and are awesome because it would not have been done without them. Also, we all got out tans from being out in the sun going through boxes and not from laying out by the pool.

This space was filled with boxes and now it is empty.

My sister and mom watching my dad rearrange boxes.

The final product.

Now, I know Nathan and Laurel are probably so sad this missed out on this fun! But do not fret because the next project is shifting through Christmas decorations and lights during Thanksgiving!

Being a Lakers' fan in Boston...

2010-06-22T21:44:00.002-04:00

...has certainly been an experience. As the Lakers and Celtics battled each other for the championship, with the Lakers winning it all, I pretty much feared for my life. Celtic fans are crazy. They really hate the Lakers. During the whole series everyone either wore Celtic jerseys or "Beat LA" shirts. It was pretty surreal. They are so passionate about their team here that I really did not want to tell many people I was a Lakers fan. Here are some responses I got when I told people I am a Lakers fan:

1. Oh, I'm sorry.
2. You do know you're in Boston, right?
3. They suck! I hope Boston wins.
4. Are you crazy?
5. It is okay to like the Lakers, but you hate Kobe Bryant, right?
6. You guys are so going to lose!

And there were many others, but those were just some of the highlights. One girl was practically disgusted that I liked Kobe, but we both agreed that you either loved or hated him. Also, I learned that the Lakers have no redeeming value and that they basically suck. In support of my team, I tried to wear purple everyday. I had friends give me such a hard time when the Lakers went down 3 to 2. I was given so much crap.

So I cannot tell you how I felt when the Lakers won! While I was ecstatic, Boston is still in mourning. People are still in shock while I have a whole year of bragging rights. It was really funny to watch the news because it was all from the Celtics' perspective. They got all prepared for a celebration out here too, but people just walked home in a blaze.

I am just glad it is over because it was crazy.

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-19T19:03:00.002-04:00

Dear Dad,
Happy Father's Day! You are an awesome dad. I could not ask for better. Thanks for everything you do. For providing me with means to get not only a Bachelor's degree, but also a Master's. Thank you for always making sure I have a roof over my head and food on my table. Thank you for always listening to me and providing me with a shoulder to cry on, even when it is from 3,000 miles away. You are the best! I wish I could be there with you today.

Love
Janae

Family's boston Visit, part 2

2010-06-06T17:29:00.006-04:00

Here is part 2 of my family's trip! After my parents left, my siblings, in-laws, and I went on a Duck tour. A duck is this old World War II vehicle that can go on both land and water. After crusing around downtown Boston, we ended up cruising down the Charles River. After Nathan and Laurel left, Renee, Lewis, and I hit Salem and Plymouth. It was so much fun! I miss them. Come back! Here are some hightlights!

Laurel, Nathan, Renee, and Lewis prior to our boarding of the Duck Boat! Nathan is in pain because prior to this, I made them hike around Harvard Square.

A view of Boston from the Charles River when we were on the Duck in the Charles River.

Downtown Boston from the Charles River.

Lewis, Renee, and I ventured to Salem. This is how Lewis and Renee decided they were going to solve their fights from now on. Lewis looks comfy!

Renee is sad!

Now, Renee is happy as a witch!

Renee hanging out with her new boyfriend.

Plymouth Rock. It's not that exciting.

MIT. I took Renee and Lewis where they bought some cool t shirts. This building resembles R2D2.

Renee and Lewis outside of the Cask N Flogan, which is located right outside of Fenway Park. According to ESPN, this is the number on baseball bar in America. Last year, it was number two! I made them stand in front of it. Afterwards, we knocked back a few drinks! Just kidding!

Family's Boston Visit, part 1: Red Sox, Freedom Trail, and Maine!

2010-05-29T10:33:00.004-04:00

For my graduation, my family came to visit met in Boston. I was so glad that my parents, Nathan, Laurel, Renee, and Lewis were able to come. We had to so much (though I may have walked them to death). They were such troopers. And I think Mike's Pastry really misses Nathan. My parents arrived a few days before my siblings. They stayed at this hotel that is right on the Charles River on the Cambridge side. We had fun. My parents came and toured the John F. Kennedy library where I work and that night my dad and I went to a Red Sox game. Though it is May, the weather was 40 degrees and so cold. My dad was glad he bought a Red Sox sweatshirt because it helped keep him warm. It was one of the craziest games I had ever seen as the Blue Jays pitcher walked five players in a row and my dad realized he had played baseball in college against the Blue Jays first base coach. My dad was also like a teenager emailing his friend on his blackberry that he was at the game. He rocks!

The view from my parents hotel room!

The famous Green Monster at Fenway!

The Red Sox starting pitcher, John Lackey (a former Angels pitcher)

My dad and I!

My dad riding the t. He and Renee both ride the train the same way.

When my siblings and their spouses arrived, I took them for a tour of Boston. We did most of the Freedom Trail but then it got hot and we were tired. Plus, my dad that morning decided he wanted lobster, specifically lobster from Maine. So that afternoon we drove two hours to Portland, Maine and most of us, well Nathan, Laurel, and my dad had lobster.

Renee, Lewis, and I taking pictures of each other. Yes, we are that cool!

Nathan and Laurel taking a break.

Nathan, Laurel, Lewis, and Renee standing in front of the Paul Revere statue behind the Old North Church.

My parents at the Maine restaurant we went to for lobster.

Lewis and Renee

Nathan and Laurel

The lobster.

The coolest graduation gift ever!!!

2010-05-19T20:13:00.003-04:00

I received many wonderful graduation gifts, including a beautiful charm bracelet from my parents. However, Nathan and Laurel got me an amazing gift. One that I cherish very much.

Yes, that is really a a felt Mr. T bookmark. I love it, especially because I love the A-Team. I grow up watching the A-Team and am so excited for the upcoming movie. Thank you Nathan and Laurel. It makes me smile every time i see it and use it. I especially love the gold beads used to reflect his jewelry. Nothing can top how awesome this bookmark is. You know you are all jealous!

I Did It!

2010-05-17T08:57:00.003-04:00

I have officially graduated and have my Master's! It was an amazing day and so beautiful. I graduated down by the waterfront and there was not a cloud in the sky. Rain had been predicted for the day. My family was there and cheering me on. This picture is courtesy of my roommate, Annie. There will be more forthcoming and more posts about my family's visit to Boston and how I exhausted them by walking them to death. Actually, Laurel adapted quite well I must say.

Thank you all for your love and support. I would really like to give a big thanks to my parents. If it was not for all their love and support I would not have my master's. My mom like to joke that parents should be awarded a degree and I agree. Thanks to them I have gotten this far. They have never let me down. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is as much yours as mine! I love you lots. Now I am off to show Renee and Lewis more of massachusetts. There is witches in our future.

Love
Janae

Reflections...

2010-05-04T15:49:00.006-04:00

I do not know quite how to begin this post or if it will even make sense, so please bare with me. The end has finally arrived. After two years, which now seems like it just flow by, I have completed my Master's. At the moment, I just want to shout "I'm Done! I Did It!" followed by some cart wheels. Then I remind myself, I have never been able to do a cart wheel and I do not want to hurt myself by attempting this feat. I feel such a mixture of emotions. I am happy and excited and every happy emotion you can even imagine. I just want to cry tears of happiness and tears of joy.

Getting this degree has not been easy. I feel like I have faced every struggle possible. I know the Lord gives us trials to test us and to make us stronger. I use to laugh that God continually gave me trials because there was something big coming around the corner I had to weather and these trials were preparing me for it. That was not his purpose. He was making me stronger with each one. He saw where I was weak and sent me on a path to fix that. Like he says in the scriptures, the Lord will make "weak things become strong." He has done that for me and I see that so clearly now as my eyes are now fully wide open. But at the moments when things were hard, I did not look at it this way. Now that I can reflect on it, I see why they were there. It is funny how things work themselves out.

Through these trials, I have also learned to overcome many fears and stand strong. I have feel like I have passed the ultimate gut check. This past Sunday in Relief Society, we talked about making decisions, which I thought was meant for me. We discussed what President Monson said about decision making and it really resonated with me.

He said "I urge you to not take counsel of your fears. I hope you will not say, "I'm not smart enough to study chemical engineering; hence, I'll study something less strenuous." "I can't apply myself sufficiently well to study this difficult subject or in this comprehensive filed; hence, I'll choose the easier way." I plead with you to choose the hard way and tax your talents. Our Heavenly Father will make you equal to your tasks. If one should stumble, if one should take a course and get less than the "A" grade desired, I hope such a one will not let it become a discouraging thing to him. I hope that he will rise and try again."

I love how he began by talking about not giving into our fears. It is so easy too. This is why I feel like I have had the trials in my life. They have shown me that I have nothing to fear. That I am strong and that there is nothing that I cannot do. In these past two years, I have done many things I never dreamed in a million years I could do. I moved 3,000 miles away from my family. I built this whole new life and bettered myself. I can build and manage databases, talk about the hardest class I have even taken, but am so grateful I did. I no longer want to run away, but embrace what comes my way.

Tulips!!!

2010-05-01T18:27:00.004-04:00

Spring (fingers crossed) has officially arrived in Boston. This weekend has been gorgeous so far. It is in the 70s and just warm and sunny! Today, I decided to take a walk through the Boston Public Gardens because I had no real school work to do. Everybody was out and walking around. I noticed in the Gardens they had planted tulips. Enjoy!

The following picture is for Renee. When walking through downtown, I spotted two Ferraris next to each other. They are beautiful!

Countdown....

2010-04-29T20:20:00.002-04:00

Seven days until classes are officially over for me.

Over one week until the parents show up.

A week and half until Renee, Lewis, Nathan, and Laurel come.

Two weeks until graduation.

My newest Obsession!

2010-04-24T19:38:00.003-04:00

Finally, after many people telling me to watch Glee, I did the other week. Lets just say, I love this show, but the only bad thing about it, is that it comes on when Lost is on so I watch it the day after. This show is amazing.

Late Friday Night Musings...

2010-04-23T23:07:00.002-04:00

Amazingly enough, it is eleven o'clock on a Friday night and I am still awake. Usually, by this time, I am passed out (for example, a few weeks ago I went to sleep at 9:30) because that is how tired I was. Why was I so tired? Well, I developed this thought that if I worked really hard and got everything done for school in these past two weeks that it would make graduation come faster. Instead, I exhausted myself, because besides doing homework, I still had to go to class and work. I live the ultimate balancing act, which is helped by my planner. I have learned that everyone in my program is all about planning and scheduling. Yes, we are that cool, but it is who we are. We could not be in this program without having this skill. And yes, people have made fun of me, but oh well, it is what keeps me sane and helps me remember things.

Today though I finished the last paper I will ever have to write for graduate school. I cannot even described what it feels like. I think I let out a huge sigh of relief and felt elation at the same time. Grad school is not easy and add working on top of that, my life has been pretty crazy these past two years. But I would not trade these past two years for anything because they have been great. I have learned a lot about myself and have made some dear friends out here. I am not the same person I was when I first arrived. As graduation approaches, I am just excited and happy and relieved and kind of thinking "wow, I really did this, I really did." I have had some doubts and I have had some struggles, but I needed them to make me stronger. To show that I can make it through anything because I am not weak. But now, I would kind of like just a little break from the hardships. I do not think that is too much to ask for.

Aside from graduation, I am excited to see my family. We will all be here together in Boston in just a few short weeks. They are my support. I love them so much and I am thankful for them. I am thankful for my cousin Jessica and her family. They have been such a great support system. I love them very much. She has just been there for me in so many ways. I do not even know how to begin to say thank you. I love you, Jess!!!

Well, have a good Friday night. I am off to sleep and for the first time in long time, look forward to a Saturday that does not involve that much homework or eight hours in the library. Yes, eight hours in the library.

Three weeks and counting...

2010-04-18T18:06:00.002-04:00

Three weeks, nine classes, 3 projects, and 2 presentations and I am DONE!!! Who's counting? The end is so close I can practically taste it, really I can. I am so excited to be graduating, but there is still much work to be done. The next week will be a challenge, but I can do it. The reward is just so great. It is beyond great.

Spring is springing?

2010-04-14T09:07:00.003-04:00

First, my apologizes for being such a lame blogger lately. My life has been busy and this business has caused me to be so tired lately. I am just working hard towards graduation. Here in Boston we are finally moving into spring after surviving not one, but two massive rain storms. The storms were so bad that an umbrella did not even work and there was much flooding. Actually, a mall in Rhode Island that I have been a few times was submerged in water. It was horrible. But after the rain, you can see signs of spring popping up everywhere. I love spring in Boston, if it could be spring all year around I would be more inclined to stay here. Trees and flowers are beginning to bloom. This past Monday, on my way to watch my friend Betsy's undergraduate college choir sing, I decided to walk through the Boston Common and Public Gardens. The following is what I saw. It will only get more beautiful (Oh, Laurel, you will love it!):

Flowers in Bloom!

The Public Gardens!

The Public Gardens.

After my walk, I met up with Betsy and her boyfriend in front of the Church of the Covenant in downtown Boston. Her boyfriend sings in the Hobart and William Smith Colleges "The Colleges Chorale." We grabbed some dinner and then went back to the church to watch the performance. Betsy's boyfriends sings in the choir. The church was beyond gorgeous. All the old churches are so beautiful out here. Also, the performance was amazing. I really, really enjoyed it and am glad Betsy invited me to it. She one of my best friends out here.

The HWS choir!

The Chandelier

A little side note, I am excited for graduation, but also excited to see my family. I am so happy that my parents, sister, brother-in-law, brother, and sister-in-law will be here for my graduation. When I thought about who I wanted to be here, I realized I just needed the six of them. They have been so supportive during my time out here. They were there through both the good and bad times and always reminded me of how strong I am. They are so much a part of this accomplishment. Also, I am excited to show Nathan, Laurel, and Lewis Boston. It will be so much fun. Remember to bring some good walking shoes!

A quick update!

2010-03-28T22:22:00.002-04:00

So, I realize that I had not written on my blog in a little bit. I attribute this to how boring my life is. Just kidding! I have been busy between work, school, and applying for jobs. I graduate in six weeks. That thought just gets me so excited to know that in six weeks, my Master's will be done. However, I still have so much work to do between now and then, but I will get it done. Graduation is my main motivation.

While I am excited for graduation, I am a little nervous about the job situation. I have applied for many positions and have no idea where I will end up. Actually, I do not think it will be here in Boston as most of my recent applications have been on the West Coast. I could end up in California and maybe, Salt Lake City. The biggest draw of Salt Lake, besides a great position would be living by my sister. She is my best friend and just being able to see her more than a few times a year would be great. I could possibly end up in D.C. but we will see. So I could be anywhere.

I just want to thank everyone for all their love and support!

So Beautiful!!!

2010-03-18T18:07:00.000-04:00

My sister-in-law is an incredible photographer. Over spring break, she took my photographs and did an incredible job. Seriously, if you want to have your pictures done, get her. Thanks Laurel. I love them! Here is the link to her blog.

Spring Break!

2010-03-12T18:51:00.004-05:00

For spring break this year, I went to California for the week. I thought I was leaving the cold behind, but it followed me back home. But today, Friday, has been really nice and I even got to break out the flip flops. I just enjoyed having the week off. My sister-in-law and I went power skating. It was so much fun! I ate some good food and found my graduation dress. I hung out with my mom and bonded with her new kitten Callie. She is so adorable. My mom and I made angel food cake from scratch and it was good. Of course, I hung out with my two nephews, who are so adorable! Eli and I built many lego houses and I think I found my new calling in life. Can you get a Master's in lego building? Also, Laurel took my graduation photographs. I got to play model and it was so much fun! Well, here a few pics!

The newest member of the Lakey family. She is so cute.

Our angel food cake!

One of my many lego houses! Eli loves them. He built one that had a diving board on top!

Eli and West!

Eli, sleeping in the car on the way to his house!

Pajama Prom!

2010-03-03T09:58:00.003-05:00

Two weeks ago, my ward out here had a pajama prom. It was fun! We wore pajamas, walked under a balloon arch, and danced. I had a lot of fun! Below is a picture of the group I went with:

Always able to make me smile!!!

2010-02-18T21:45:00.003-05:00

So after realizing that I have written from depressing blog posts, I thought I would post about what always brings a smile to my face. That would have to be the two cutest little boys on the planet, though I am a little bias. There are pictures from when I babysat them over Christmas. Eli was putting together his invention called the "Pipe 3000" which is not in any of the pics below.

Funny Eli!!!

I love this picture because West looks so confused. He is so cute!!!

In Honor of Valentine's Day...

2010-02-12T23:09:00.002-05:00

I thought I would share some amusing antidotes about my dating life. You see, I seem only attract the weirdos for some reason. I really do. I think it is in my DNA and sometimes I think it is almost too much to ask for just a normal guy. Just one normal guy, he can even be semi normal. After what I had this past year, semi normal sounds good.

So to prove my point about the weirdness, here are some of the highlights from this past year:

1. I knew going to that date auction was a bad idea. At this time, last summer, my ward had older men in it, and by older, I mean over 40. My biggest fear was that one would win my date and lo and behold, God did not let me down. This 40 plus man won and we went out to a nice steakhouse. He is a nice guy, but all he could talk about was how he needed to find his "eternal companion." You know, take that next step. I have never heard the phrase used so much. And the whole time, I kept thinking, you are like ten years younger than my parents. He wanted to take a stroll by the Charles, but I convinced him to walk me to the subway. He asked me out again, but I just told him we needed to be friends. He now avoids me.

2. So only Renee has heard this tale and probably Lewis. This past fall, I was browsing this store in Harvard Square and I noticed this guy hovering next to me. He finally told me that he was jogging by and saw me through the window and thought I was so beautiful that he had to ask me out. I was flattered. This never happens to me, but only to other people. I agreed and thought he has initiative, which some guys in my ward seem to lack. He asked me for my number and said he would call me. So we arranged to go see Stomp and have dinner. Before my date, I made sure my sister and roommates knew the details. I even programmed a text to my sister to call me with an emergency if I needed an out.

I never should have gone. I told him at our initial meeting, I grow up near L.A. He decided to prep for our date by watching season 1 of Melrose Place because everyone in California has watched it. I should have taken that for a sign on how the date would go. He told me he failed out of Dental School because he never studied and was now studying to be an accountant so he could make a lot of money, but he did not like studying for that either. He kept referring to my school as Smith, no matter how many times I called it Simmons. We had nothing in common. No spark, no anything. He spent the whole show staring at me. It was uncomfortable. As I went to the bathroom, I thought I need to leave, but I had forgotten my coat.

After the show, which was really good, he took me to Legal Seafoods. You know the date is bad when your waitress feels sorry for you. He just has no people skills. I laid our jacket between us and did not say much. I finally escaped to the bathroom where my cell phone got no signal. It just felt weird and I knew I had to leave. As I walked out of the bathroom, he was standing there, waiting for me. To get back to the table, you had to walk up these stairs. Walking up he trailed behind me. I was disgusted. All I wanted to do was take a shower. We sat down and I quizzed him on where he lived because we were not going home the same way. I found out he lived on the opposite side of town from me. I never told him my last name or where I lived and he apparently did not learn where I went to school. He walked me to the T station where he proceeded to tell me how attracted he was to me and wanted to go out again. He pulled out his cell phone and told me to call him. I said good night and just bolted. I ran to catch the train and laughed and cried the whole way home. I have learned my lesson about dating non LDS guys. Never again.

3. I had a little admirer in my new ward. He was socially awkward and did not pick up on my social cues that I was not interested in him. He is a nice guy, but his actions towards me just made church feel a little uncomfortable to the point that I had to make sure I sat between two friends and avoided him. I finally told him I was not interested and if you want to know his response, email me. I wish him the best, but he was not for me.

After things like this, I wonder what is wrong with me? Why do I attract such odd guys? It drives me crazy and makes me hate dating. The other week, we had this FHE where it was dividing into small dinner groups and I did not go because all I could think was I will just end up with more socially awkward guys. Sometimes, I feel some people think I should just settle for any guy. But I don't feel that way. With marriage, you cannot just settle for anything. For the first offering. Some days, I am just so jealous of Renee and Nathan. I envy them. I do, but it passes. They have everything I want. I just hate that this is such a difficult part of my life. I feel that everything for me has to be this huge challenge. Just, what is wrong with me? I feel it has to be me.

So, those with significant others, cherish your loved ones. Have a great Valentine's day!!!

These are a few of my favorite things!!!

2010-02-08T21:46:00.003-05:00

1. Silk long underwear. Has to be on of the best inventions of all time. I wear it everyday under my clothes and it keeps me wear. Thanks mom!

2. My long down coat. This coat has saved me this winter. It is long and warm. Also, I need to add that this fleece Nathan and Laurel got me for Christmas is another layer of warmness I wear like everyday.

3. Boots.

4. Gloves and warm hats

5. Heat

6. Flannel sheets

7. Down comforters

8. Thick socks

9. Scarves

10. Blankets

Can you tell I live where it is freezing cold at the moment?

Just so tired of it....

2010-02-07T20:18:00.004-05:00

The other week, my sister wrote a blog post about how if people want to talk to her, they just need to pick up the phone and call her. It is so true. There seems to be this idea going around that she and I need to call everyone and keep up with all these relationships. Basically, it means the other person has to do absolutely nothing, but complain when I apparently do not call them or do not give them all my undivided attention. Hey, I have a busy life. I go to school full time, work part time, plus I have homework. I am on board with Renee. If you want to talk to me, just call me. I am tired of being the one who always has to carry the relationship. Who always has to call, who always has to make this huge, grand effort because heaven forbid if I don't, I am called rude and mean. I am being accused of ignoring people.

You know what, I know I am none of that. I am tired of this crap. Tired of being the one who has to carry the relationship. I decided last year that I was done with this. If people really want a meaningful relationship with me, they can put in some effort on their end. And you know what, it is not that hard to contribute to a relationship. Ask Renee, ask my parents, ask my Grandma Lakey, ask my friends here, as my cousin Jessica. You can just decide, hey I want to talk to Janae. If I do not pick up, leave a message and I will call you back. Instead of continuing to think why does not she call me, she must hate me. I do not. I am tired of doing everything because it can be exhausting. Instead, maybe you should think I should reach out to her. What's up with her? Maybe I should actually put some effort into this relationship so it is not all on Janae. So please remember this the next time you want to tell me my mom how rude I am!

Can you guess the book? giveaway

2010-02-06T10:35:00.003-05:00

So I have read many blogs these past few days that have been having giveaways. I decided to have on myself. The prize is described at the end.

This semester, I am taking a class about providing Reference Services to patrons. Yes, I know you all wish you were taking this class too!!! The other night we were talking about interacting with patrons and answering their requests, especially concerning removing books that some patrons think are unsuitable for public viewing. My professor worked for the Orland public libraries for many years and told us an occasion where a woman came up to him at the reference desk and asked that the library remove this certain book for all the public libraries. She said she thought the book was "evil" and "dangerous" and that she did not want her children or other children to be able to read it. My professor relayed her request to the proper people, but they decided not to remove the book.

This woman would not let the issue go. She kept pushing for the libraries to remove all copies of this book because it was again "evil." When the libraries would not budge, she checked out all 180 copies and refused to return them. As the books were property of the county, they sent a sheriff to her house to get all the copies back. This was back in like 2000. Can you guess the book? I will give you some hints, it is a book for children, young adults and even adults enjoy reading this book. It is part of a series and I love this book! Many of you have read it too. First to get it right and you will win something from Mike's Pastry, this italian pastry shop. It will be anything of your choosing, which I will send to you. And you can guess up to three times.

Happy 30th!!!

2010-02-01T22:49:00.003-05:00

On February 2, 30 years ago, my parents were married for time and all eternity in the Los Angeles Temple. Yes, they were married on Ground Hog's Day. I want to wish them a happy anniversary (hopefully, they will read my blog soon!) I love them. They truly are each other's soul mate. Here's to you mom and dad. In the past 30 years, they have raised three children, seen all three graduate from college, have two children who have married and the greatest joy of their lives and the role they truly relish is being grandparents. They love Eli and West so much!

My Dad and Mom at my sister's wedding this past summer.

At my sister's graduation. My dad, my sister Renee, my mom, me, and my brother Nathan.

My dad with West (Sorry this is not the best picture)

My mom and Eli! (Note: I am not the best photographer in the world. I knew I should have stolen pictures from Laurel)

The Happy Couple!!!

The Beginning of the End

2010-01-30T14:32:00.003-05:00

This past week, I began my last semester of Graduate School. That's right, I graduate in May, this coming May. It seems like only yesterday, I began my program. I was filled with apprehension and unsure what to expect. A year and a half later, these feelings have dissipated. I am where I am suppose to be following this path that I really do not know where is going next. Come May, uncertainty exists because I am in the process of job hunting and I could end up anywhere. The most concrete answer I give to people when they ask me where I am going after graduation is "I don't know" because I really do not know. Some days I feel the pressure more than others to answer this question, but I am job searching and trying to find the best position possible. I really want to be working as an archivist, but I can always be a librarian.

So the countdown begins. I think I am developing a case of senioritis, but the end is almost here and I will have my Master's. It's such a great feeling to have and I am fighting the urge to rub it in some people's faces who thought I was on this pointless path in my. What is sad about it, is that some of these people are related to me. I do not say family because I really do not consider them that. Oh, well. I am trying not to freeze to death, but it cold. I just witnesses my first snow squall the other day. It was crazy.

Also, I want to wish my nephew a happy birthday. He is turning 4 tomorrow!

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

2010-01-24T15:32:00.003-05:00

This weekend I decided to make a pineapple upside down cake for my friend. He told me how much he loved eating it growing up, so I thought I would tackle it. It was not that hard to make and it tasted good.

Bluest of Blue now streaked with Red!

2010-01-20T18:22:00.002-05:00

Massachusetts is one of the most liberal democratic states in the country.You feel it here. Every major politic post (i.e. U.S. Senators and congress members) are Democrat. Most of the times Republicans are not even on the ballot for local government elections. This state is really blue, through and through, until last night. Oh, last night changed everything and showed how upset the people are with the current situation in our country. We are living in a recession and losing jobs and it seems not much is being done to fix it and that the current health care legislation will just send us further into debt. I am all for overhauling health care, but not with this bill because it was too hastily put together with too many special favors to different states. They need to begin again and the Congress and Senate Democrats and Republicans need to work together.

So yesterday, a special election for the late Ted Kennedy's senate seat was held and it was won by Massachusetts state senator, Scott Brown. He is a Republican. He beat Martha Coakley, the democrat. I was shocked, but not really surprised as Brown gained much momentum in the past two weeks. The Democrats thought they had the race won. The Democratic primary which was held in December was almost like the election itself. Whatever democrat won the primary was basically winning the Senate seat. This democrat was Martha Coakley. This was front page news and leading stories on the news. I think Scott Brown's victory in the Republican primary was mentioned in a one minute segment and I think they showed his picture. He was not a problem. How could he win? Coakley had a 30 point lead in December.

Well, what happened? Coakley did not really campaign, but Brown did. One of Brown's first ad defined him as Scott Brown from Wrentham who drives a truck. This truck became part of his campaign in some weird way because he drove it all over the state campaigning. He did not start with much money and had volunteers. The Republican party did not provide him with any help. They shied away from him though Senator John McCain met with Brown and provided support along with former Massachusetts Mitt Romney. Also, Doug Flutie and Curt Schilling endorsed him. FYI, did you know Doug Flutie has a band? Slowly, Brown's campaign gained momentum and the Democrats finally took notice when the polls started showing he was closing the gap on Coakley.

Oh, the t.v. ads were malicious on Brown. I stopped watching them. But they didn't work. In the past week, former President Bill Clinton and President Obama came to Boston and campaigned for Coakley. They pulled out the big guns, but it did not really do anything. Brown, whose two main endorsement were Senator McCain and Mitt Romney, just moved forward and waited to see what Massachusetts wanted. The people wanted Brown. He won the election! This blue state, this very blue state all the sudden had some red infused. The people used this election to show they need better changes. We all need to come together and find solutions to the ongoing problems of the economy and jobs. We can't cling so solidly to either the left or the right. It is hurting our country. Lets find some common ground and work for good solutions that hold our leaders accountable to us. They represent us! We need them to do good work for us.

Also, it probably didn't help Coakley that she said on the radio that Curt Schilling was a Yankess fan. You just don't say that here in Boston!

So now Massachusetts has some red. I wonder if red and blue can exist here in Massachusetts?

Family!

2010-01-19T18:58:00.003-05:00

These past few weeks, I have been thinking about family and the ties that bind us together. What defines us as family? I have reflected more upon this the past two weeks as in church, during relief society, we have been discussing Heavenly Father and our relationship with him. He is our heavenly father. He loves all of us as we are his children. He sent us down here to have earthly families though their are some days I wish I could have chosen different members of my extended family, but I will not go into that here. I love him! I truly do. But it made me just ponder family even more maybe because being part of my family is not easy sometimes.

Again, it comes back to what binds us together. While I know one strong tie is blood, I don't think it is the most essential tie in defining a family. I love my immediate family with all my heart. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. My parents are loving, wonderful, and supportive. They truly are. I have great relationships with my brother and my sister. I love them very much and I love and adore my two nephews. They melt my heart every time I see them because it's only a couple times a year. However, my immediate family has extended twice over the course of these past six years. I gained a new sister and a new brother and have developed good relationships with them. I love them. They are my family and I find them very brave for wanting to be part of our family because it's not always easy. They're incredible. Nathan and Renee are so lucky.

I have many friends, especially out here in Boston, I consider my family. I love them dearly and they make me not want to leave here when I graduate because I don't want to lose these connections, but I know they will continue for a long time. Back in California and Utah, I have other friends who are my family. I love them dearly. Then it hit me the other day about what ties us together, what makes us have these familial connections, they are always there through the good times, bad times, and boring times. When something goes wrong, they offer your support and listen and when times are good they celebrate and laugh with you. There are not ifs, ands, and buts. And when things are just moving along, they are still their. Asking how things are, going to lunch or hanging out to trade stories and laughter. They are not deceptive and are not out looking for ways to use you to hurt others. They do not try to paint you as a liar to your own parents or put you down because you are not like them or trying to live out their Perry Mason fantasies on you. I love my family so much. They are my support system and have helped me through so much.

I don't know how much this post will make sense to many people, but I just want to get across that family has no essential defining characteristic. I love all of you!!!

The Bachelor and other reality tv!!!

2010-01-18T13:09:00.003-05:00

So, I already know that I am going to get made fun of for admitting that my newest viewing pleasure lately has been the new season of the Bachelor. I have never really watched the Bachelor in all honesty, but I ended up watching the first episode with some friends and then of course had to watch last week to see the girl get kicked off for having an affair with the producer. She so had something going on with him. She did not even look surprised when confronted by a clearly uncomfortable host, Chris Harrison.

I have seen a picture of the producer she had an "inappropriate relationship with" because apparently the Bachelor does not like to use the word affair or sexual relationship though they love showing their bachelors making out with women in hot tubs. You know, you just have to keep some morals in tact! The show is so awful, but I don't know why I can't stop watching. Okay, I know why. I spend the majority of the show laughing at the girls. They are so ridiculous and so is Jake, though he is hot!!! I'd make out with him, but probably not a in a hot tub. Maybe in a pool or lying next to Renee on a bed, but not the hot tub.

On the other hand, my favorite show besides the Bachelor, is the Biggest Loser. I love this show because it is just so good and I always cry. Especially this past week because Michael (who is 500 pounds) and his mother earned a two pound penalty after losing a challenge. This meant that they probably would be the bottom two and the week 2 weigh-ins are known for little weight loss. So Michael and Maria were the last team to weight-in and they needed to lose a combined 13 pounds to stay on the show. Guess what, they lost a combined 21 pounds and I was just in tears. I love them, well I love Michael! I am totally rooting for him. They get to stay another week! So watch the Biggest Loser. It comes on Tuesdays at 8:00.

Also, another show I started watching, I have been sick and spent four days in bed last week where I slept and watched T.V., is TLC's One Big Happy Family. All four family members weight over 300 pounds and they decided, well the mother took charge and put them all on a diet. The following is a clip from one of my favorite moments because apparently Norris, the dad, only thought spinach came in a can.

Have a good week!

So excited!

2010-01-11T14:33:00.001-05:00

Growing up, I loved (and still love) watching the A-Team. How nerdy is that? I just really love this show and am so excited for the movie this summer. So here is the trailer (it comes out June 2010):

Toothpaste and the State Senator

2010-01-06T20:09:00.003-05:00

In Cambridge, we are (well, were as he resigned today) represented by Anthony Galluccio in the Massachusetts state senate. What lead to this resignation just a series of stupid decisions he made while drinking. His journey to his resignation began on October 4, 2009 when he rear ended a mini van and fled the scene. However, the drive took note of his license plate and reported him to the police. While investigating this hit and run, it was revealed that 13 hours before the hit and run, the police had given Galluccio a ride home because they believed he was too drunk to drive himself. In December, he pleaded guilty to fleeing the scene of a crime and was sentenced to six months home confinement but was allowed out to attend church and cast senate votes. That's right, he didn't resign from the Senate. However, within 72 hours of beginning house arrest, the court ordered breathalyzer detected alcohol on his breath at least four different times. Galluccio blamed these results on his toothpaste.

He actually called witnesses to testify about his toothpaste and how it caused him to fail these tests, but the judge did not buy it and sentenced him to a year in jail. He then resigned. However, the toothpaste's inventor said Galluccio's claim was unfounded. It never ceases to amaze me what levels some politicans will go to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Lying and deception is never okay. However, I find the whole situation incredibly funny. So next time you decide to drive you car, remember do not brush your teeth because in case you get pulled over you might get arrested for a DUI!

Happy New Year!!!

2010-01-01T19:29:00.002-05:00

First, I want to begin this post by wishing everyone a happy new year. I am so excited for 2010, especially after a kind of rough 2009. However, I realized that many incredible things occurred in 2009. First, the year began with the birth of my second nephew West. He is so incredibly cute and smiley and laid back. His laugh just melts my heart!!! Second, my sister graduated from the University of Utah! Go Renee!!! Then the highlight of the whole year was her wedding. She is so incredibly happy and Lewis is such a great guy. I am so lucky to have him for a brother. I love you Renee and Lewis! You guys are going to make cute babies one of these days! Fourth, I got hired to work at the JFK Library. I love my job!

What else happened during 2009? I flew on a bunch of different airlines in my attempts to get back to California and Utah. Overall, I flew 7 times, which comes out to about 42,000 miles or so. My math is not exact. I did not always have the easiest times getting out of Logan and was banned from ever stepping foot onto a Jet Blue flight by my dad after they canceled and delayed a few of my flights. I love American Airlines and Virgina America.

School was difficult this year, but I made it. I want to say I survived, but I made it. Through this incredibly difficult experience, I developed a closer relationship with my cousin Jessica. She has been in my same exact position and has provided me with comfort, advice, love, support and so much more. Thanks is not enough, it will never be enough. I love you Jessica! Now, i have on semester left. I will graduate in five months, on May 14th to be exact! It is such an exciting time. A time for new beginnings and possible a new move. Who knows where I will go and who knows where I will be working!

So I did not exactly make many resolutions for this year. I have a few like being done with toxic people and being more positive and realizing certain burdens are not mine (they never were) to carry. I am removed. I am going to continue working on staying healthy and jump starting my non existent social life! To continue spending time with my friends, who are so awesome out here. I could not ask for better friends! Here is to a great 2010!

Christmas Eve!!!

2009-12-30T13:18:00.004-05:00

This Christmas was so great. I loved being around all my family and especially my nephew Eli, who was so excited to Santa to come. Our Christmas Eve was so much fun! Nathan and Laurel opened their home to us and served some great food, which included bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers, brie, chicken skewers, etc. It was so delicious and so much fun! Here are some highlights:

Tree Decorating and Gingerbread houses!!!

2009-12-20T20:42:00.006-05:00

This past weekend, my nephew Eli came over and helped my mom and I decorate the Christmas tree and build a gingerbread house. Here are some highlights!!!

Semester's End!

2009-12-15T11:50:00.000-05:00

So, my hardest, most challenging semester has finally come to an end and I made, just barely. I was always going to make it, but there were times, I'll admit, when I didn't think I would. And how I made it to the end, I do not really understand. All I know is that now I feel this overwhelming amount of peace and happiness. The stress is gone and my sleep feels good. I have stopped dreaming of school assignments and waking up with my mind racing.

Now, I am off to California for the break and some much needed rest. Thank you for all your love and support. I've truly needed it.

P.S. I got straight As when I was just aiming for Bs.

So Funny!

2009-12-09T21:09:00.003-05:00

I read this blog called "How to Find Mr. Wrong." It's hilarious and this was posted the other day. I can't stop laughing. How desperate can you be? I'll let you decide.

I especially love the second call.

And I made it!

2009-12-05T17:12:00.002-05:00

Well, almost. I have finished all my final assignments, except for 1 which I just need to proof read once more, but that will be tomorrow. A few weeks ago, if you asked me if I would make it to this point, I would have probably burst into tear, well I did, more than once. Just a few more days and the most challenging period of my life will have ended. I shouldn't say ended, but the trial I went through is done. So close, I plan to celebrate!

Thanksgiving surprise!

2009-11-29T19:01:00.001-05:00

Originally, I was planning on staying in Boston for Thanksgiving. I decided that I just had too much going on to fly home to California for a few days and then just come back quickly. However, as my life turned chaotic and I really thought about it, I realized that I wanted to go home. Okay, I really wanted to hug my mom. I figured once I did this and saw her that everything would be okay. So after talking with my dad, I bought my plane ticket, but decided to surprise my mom with my arrival.

To pull this off, we involved my brother Nathan and sister-in-law, Laurel. They picked me up at the airport when I got in the day before Christmas. I was so excited to be back in California where it was warm and see my family. I could not believe how big my little nephew West was. He is so adorably cute and so smiley. I love his smiles and his little babbles and how he always wants to move around.

The morning of Thanksgiving, I called my mom and told her how much I wish I could be there and told her I was sad, but that all would be fine. So we drove over there. I ducked into the house and walked into the kitchen where she was. Her back was turned to me. I just tapped her on the shoulder and said "hi." She was surprised, well more like stunned. I just hugged her and she hugged me. She kept saying I can't believe you're here! It was awesome. She had no clue, but she was so excited I was there.

After the surprise, we sat down to a great dinner. Everything was awesome from the Turkey to the stuffing to Nathan's mashed sweet potatoes to Laurel's rolls, which we both sampled that morning. Then after dinner, we had dessert, which my aunt Julee made. Her cherry pie and pumpkin mousse trifle were divine.

What did I do the rest of the time? I just relaxed and enjoyed being with my family. It was exactly what I needed and now I feel that I can finish the semester strong!

What I am thankful for...

2009-11-25T17:18:00.002-05:00

1. I am thankful for my sanity, especially after this semester.

2. I am thankful for my family. Mom, dad, Nathan, Laurel, Renee, Lewis, Eli, and West.

3. I am thankful for my extended family.

4. I am thankful for my amazing cousin Jessica. She is the best!

5. I am thankful for the gospel.

6. I am thankful for my job.

7. I am thankful for my schooling. Though it is difficult at times, I wouldn't change anything because it is making me stronger and tougher.

8. I am thankful for good roommates. Annie and Rebecca are great!

9. I am thankful for good friends. Betsy, Robin, Mollie, Michelle, Meg, Brooke, Lisa, Jen, and many others.

10. I am thankful for trashy magazines. They allow me to lose myself for a few hours every week.

11. I am thankful to have a roof over my head.

12. I am thnakful to be living in Boston.

What are you thankful for?

A little holiday cheer...

2009-11-22T14:47:00.002-05:00

Santa Cookies...Courtesy of my rommate Annie...

So Close, Yet so far...

2009-11-21T15:09:00.002-05:00

The semester is almost over. I am writing this blog post from my school's library on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Yes, that's right. I've spent plenty Saturdays in my school's library doing homework. The main reason I do it is because there is less distractions here than at my house. I get a lot done, but I am just ready for this entire semester to be over. I really am. I am thankful Simmons gives us a six week break because my mind will need that time to thoroughly recover.

The past three months have been incredibly challenging for me. I have really had to dig down deep and find strength to carry me through. I am at the point, where I have realized that everything is going to be okay, but it has been hard to get their. However, things have worked out in truly amazing ways. An assignment I was struggling with, I got help from my brother and then my professor made part of it extra credit. To my credit, I did figure out one of the two extra credit questions on my own. Oh, Database Management, you will not be the death of me. I've learned a lot, I have and I have an awful lot of respect and amazement for Nathan who basically got his Master's in this area. I can barely survive on semester of it.

I am thankful for everyone's support, prayers, and love during this time. Just listening helps. I am not the one to ask for help. If you know me, I am always the one helping others and it is hard for me to accept help from others. Why? I think it is because I have had so many experiences with people who said they would help and never did. They bailed on me. However, when people out here the past few weeks have started asking me how I was, I just told them the truth. That I was barely holding it together and that I was stressed. My relief society president brought me dinner, another friend told me to call her anytime to go out to eat or see a movie, another friend said she would just listen to any of my long and incoherent babbles and my roommates have just listened. My family has done much too. They have sustained me and remind me that I can do this. That I am strong when I forget that I am. Because when you get to where I was, I forgot that.

Jon Stewart and Archivists

2009-11-14T15:17:00.002-05:00

This past week, UC Santa Cruz posted a job listing for an archivist who would work with their Grateful Dead collection. Yes, the Grateful Dead have their own archive that is located in the UC Santa Cruz Special Collections and Archives. When I saw the job posting, I thought this looks like a job I am qualified for. Plus, it pays over $60,000 a year and you get to live in Santa Cruz. So awesome (as it starts in March and I graduate in May, I am deciding whether to apply for this job). We'll see.

Yes, our profession does not get much notice or basically, most people do not understand what an archivist is or what exactly they do. Take Jon Stewart, yes the Jon Stewart of the Jon Stewart show. He, well his staff, found this posting and they thought it funny because they did a segment on it. While, I found the starting funny because really, organization and the Grateful Dead do not belong in the same office. However, the rest of it showed how little he understands about what exactly we do. I am not going to six years of school just to learn how to things alphabetically and numerically. I think our profession needs to do better outreach. The archival listservs have been going crazy. We should just take it in strive because who knows one day, one of us will have Stewart's papers.

Highs and Lows of Grad School

2009-11-06T13:19:00.000-05:00

This past week has been the toughest week I have experienced since I began graduate school. Grad school is hard work. As my cousin told me during a wonderful email about getting through the hard times, if it was easy, everybody would get their Master's degree, but it is not. I tend to get overwhelmed easily. It is because my mom says I am incredibly sensitive, which is true. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I am trying to get better, but it is not working. So up until Tuesday, I have been constantly on the go. I did not even really have the weekend to recover because I went to the LDS Education Conference. I was sleep deprived, over worked and stressed about one of my classes at school. And Tuesday night, after all was said and done, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

What do I mean by this? I couldn't function. My brain was sapped and I felt like I was not going to make it. How was i going to get this all done? Besides being a full time student, I worked 20 hours a week plus I have an internship. I usually do my school work on Saturdays and at nights during the week. I broke. I did. After sitting on the floor of my bedroom for awhile, I called my dad up. In situations where I know I am highly emotional, I call my dad because he will not react emotionally to me. He presents a calm presence. He looks at my situation rationally. He listened through my incoherent tears to all my tears and then just plainly told me, "Janae, you need to rest. Don't do any work tonight and get out of the house or go to sleep now." He explained that I was overworked and needed to give myself a break. He banished homework for the night and I felt better after we got off the phone. I grabbed my purse and headed over to Harvard Square where I ended up reading a magazine for an hour before walking home. I needed fresh air and chatted with my sister. When I got home, I put on my pajamas, took some tylenol pm (I needed sound and uninterrupted sleep) and went to bed. Eight hours later, I felt break. I woke up with this calming peace inside me that all would be alright and it will be.

Everything will all be alright. I know I will make it, but I am not sure how I will come out in the end. This has been the most difficult semester ever, but I am somehow doing it. I don't know how, but everything gets done. I see the Lord's hand in everything and know he is watching over me. The degree will be worth it as day's end. The hard work will pay off. The light at the end of the tunnel is almost here. Thanks for all your love and support, especially to all of those who have listened and provided me with such great comfort. I love you guys the most!

My Testimony!

2009-11-01T14:46:00.002-05:00

This weekend, I had the privilege to attend the LDS Education Conference here in Boston. Elder M Russell Ballard came and presided over it as well as our Stake Conference. The theme of the Conference and Stake Conference was mission work. Our conference yesterday focused on ways we can help people learn about the church, especially in light of all the anti-Mormon literature on the web. Davie Neeleman, the founder of JetBlue, was one of the speakers. He started a foundation called More Good to combat these sites. It has done amazing things. It really got me thinking about what I can do. Much of the conference focused on how we can use the internet, including blogs. I have a blog and I am going to take this opportunity to bear my testimony.

I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christy of Latter-day Saints. I cannot even imagine my life any other way. Though I am no perfect, I strive everyday to lead a righteous life. I know that the Lord loves me. He sent his son, Jesus Christ to this earth where he died so we could all have the opportunity to return and live with our Heavenly Father. I am so thankful for the atonement in my life. It is amazing its healing power and has brought me closer to the Lord. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. He was sent here to restore the true gospel to this earth. I am thankful for the Book of Mormon. It is another testament of the Lord. It is my favorite book. It provides me with guidance and has brought me comfort and shown me answers I was seeking. I find myself these days reading all over it as I am searching for answers to the next steps I should take in my life.

I am thankful for prayer. The Lord has answered many of mine. We just have to pray with a sincere heart and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost will never lead us astray. I felt his presence so strongly this weekend. He confirmed the words I heard from our leaders were true and send from the Lord. His still small voice provides such comfort and we cannot ignore him. We cannot fight him. When I have tried, he finds way to get me to listen.

The gospel is so beautiful. It is based on love, the love the Lord has for all his children who he wants to return to him. I am thankful for temple work and family history work. To find these ancestors and perform their work has to be one of the greatest gifts we can give them. As their work is done, I know they have without a doubt accepted the gospel. However, we need to also invite those still here on earth to hear the gospel and chose for themselves. This is one of my biggest shortcomings. I get nervous. I get scared, but I learned this weekend that the Lord will bring people to him if we seek them out. We cannot decide how does and does not have the right to hear the gospel because we never know who will accept it.

I am thankful for my family. I am glad to be sealed to them. My parents are so amazing as are my siblings. That is such a comfort to me to know my family is forever and that it does not end with death. That's way it pains me when I see some of my family members turn away from the church. I see they way they live their lives and I just wonder if they are happy? I see the mistakes they have made and wonder if things would be different if the gospel was still in their lives. Again, I am far from perfect, but the gospel has kept me from making horrible decisions. I really don't know where I would be without it. I don't even want to think about it. I really developed my testimony when I moved away from home at 18. At that time, my parents were not around to get me to go to church and I really read the Book of Mormon all the way through for the first time. I prayed to the Lord and asked him if it was true. During one quiet Sunday afternoon, he confirmed it was. My testimony has never wavered.

The church is true. I am thankful to have it in my life. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Salem! Halloween!

2009-10-29T21:18:00.004-04:00

This past weekend, I, along with one of my best friends, okay she is my best friend out her, Betsy headed up to Salem to see how crazy it was for Halloween. As you know, Salem is where the infamous witch trials were held and they go all out for Halloween. They really do. Many people were dressed up in costumes. They are haunted houses and Betsy and I went on their candlelight tour that highlighted the Salem witch trails. It was so much fun!

This is Betsy and I standing with the Samantha Stephens statue. I love Betsy. She is so awesome. We hang out whenever we have the chance. Betsy and I are in the same program at Simmons. We met our first semester in our intro to archives class. We initially bonded over the fact we are both from California and formed a friendship from that point on. I am thankful to have met her and to be her friend. I have learned much from her and can talk to her about anything, especially about guys, school and life in general. She is always willing to listen and give advice. I appreciate her honesty! We will be friends for the rest of our lives. We had so much fun in Salem.

This is the main Salem drag, Essex Street. A street fair was set up and many people were in costumes. The weather was actually pretty nice too.

Some dressed up people.

Edward Scissorhands!

A dead bride. A funny story about this person. Later this night on our candlelight tour, we passed this "bride" lying on the ground with a cop rimming him out. She told him to get off the ground. He may have been a little tipsy!

The lit up Salem Witch Museum. The statue in front of it is of Roger Conant, Salem's founder and ancestor of mine.

The mime march!

And my favorite, old bay alley!

More to being an archivist...

2009-10-22T21:40:00.003-04:00

Tonight, I had an amazing oppurtunity to attend a lecture by Dr. Saad Sakander of the Iraq Library and Archive. He hosted a diary about his experiences for BBC. He is the director of Iraq's National Library and Archive. He holds a Ph.D. in World History. He discussed the many challenges him and his staff are faced with in rebuilding the Iraqi archives. In Iraqi, they cannot separate politics and culture. As archives document both, Hussein wanted any evidence left by past regimes destroyed and old ways of lives forgotten. He wanted to show that his way was the "correct" way and that no good life existed outside of Iraq. Because of Hussein's efforts, the Iraqis veiwed the National Library as a place of oppression due to this censorship. Dr. Eskander has worked hard to shed this perception. He wants it to be viewed as a place of learning and education.

After the U.S. invasion, many records and artifacts were looted. The archives was left in shambles. Their biggest problem is retrieving all the former regime's, aka Saddam Hussein, records. After the invasion, Iraqis, political parties, Americans and neighboring countries looted them. Many Iraqis took them because they wanted to know what happened to their missing relatives and friends. Political parties took them so they could blackmail others into doing their bidding and the Americans took them to try and justify their invasion by finding a link between Hussein and terrorism.

Why does the archives want the records back? That is a very important question that has such a simple answer. You see, part of an archives' purpose is to hold people or institutions, i.e. the government accountable for their actions. How do we do this? We document them by collecting and preserving their records. This is why their is so much uproar over missing President's papers or emails. The U.S. has laws in place that place these records in the custody of the National Archives and we can thank Richard Nixon's 17 minutes of missing tape for these laws, but we need to document their actions so we can hold them accountable for their choices. It is to protect the public. Dr. Eskander wants these records back because they document the brutality of dictatorships and of the former regime. They show what they did was wrong and that is should never be repeated. They can never forget, but it will allow them to move forward as they transition into a democracy. They need these documents to show hold the former regime accountable for all their brutality.

Other things I learned was that corruption still runs rampant in Iraq. Old ways will not die, especially in education. It was funny to learn that the old regime feared photocopiers. The archives now has computers and is building a digital library. The staff has gone to Turkey and Italy for training. Dr. Eskander fears for the safety of his staff though. They are bussed to work. After the invasion, they had no power and very damaged records. They worked wearing gloves and masks and no money. However, Dr. Eskander has worked with the prime minister to get funding and to get him to pass laws that make it illegal for anyone outside of the archives to hold the former regime's records.

Dr. Eskander is doing amazing things at the Iraq archives. He wants it to be a place of learning, a place of hope and a place where people feel free to express themselves. He is revamping the archives for the better and allowing Iraqis to see their entire history and documenting their transition from a dictatorship to a democracy. This is why I am studying to be an archivist. I get to play a part in documenting history. In opening up the past to others.

3,000 mile perspective

2009-10-21T19:00:00.003-04:00

Over the past few weeks, I have been reflecting over all the changes the have occurred in my life over the past year. Yes, I have officially resided in Boston now for well over a year. I have had my ups and my downs, but I have grown a lot. The funny thing about moving out has been, it has really give me a new perspective on the relationships I have with people in my life. 3,000 miles will do that to you because it has allowed me to really see people and to see what relationships I really do cherish. I realized that I had many "toxic" relationships where I constantly gave and gave but a few people never gave back. I was putting in all this effort to maintain relationships because I thought well as long as the other person is happy that is what matters. But you know what, I realized that I was being treated like crap by some people. Because I was too nice some people took advantage of that. It became all about them and how I was not meeting their needs or doing what they wanted. As I did everything, they really did nothing for me and even when I asked, they still blow me off, but heaven forbid I did the same thing to them. Then I was accused of being mean or being rude or of forgetting someone. Also, these people did not want you to be happy or let other people be happy. It had to be about them.

Like I said, the 3,000 miles really allowed me to see these people for who they really are and I had to decide what I wanted to do. I really did. I started to evaluate these relationships and found that the people who love me and wanted to have a relationship with me, made an effort to know me and see how I was doing. This move has strengthened relationships too and brought me closer to people. Renee and I are as close as ever. She is just so wonderful and she is my best friend. I tell her everything. Really, I do. I do not keep anything from her. It is scary how well we know each other, but I love her dearly. Lewis is a lucky guy. My parents and I are closer too. I love my mom and dad so much. My mom always seems to know when to call me when I'm having tough days. We always laugh and exchange stories. My dad too. Though he is not the best with words, I know he is proud of what I am doing out here. Both of them are. I have made it to where I am because of their love and support. I feel like they should receive part of my Master's degree too. They have never questioned my choices, which I appreciate because they want me to be happy.

In a way, I have grown closer to Nathan and Laurel too. This is due in part to Laurel's blog and facebook, but also through emails and random phone calls. We know what is happening with each other, especially with my cute little nephews. They are the best. They really are. We make the effort. Also, my Grandma Lakey is always there too. She calls me every few months to check in with me and to see how I am doing. I enjoy our chats because it gives us a chance to catch up with each other. I love her very much. I could go on and on about other people like my cousins Jessica and Lynleah or even my Aunt Amy. She texts me weekly to see how things are going. Also, I have developed some really great friendships out here. I was meant to know these people out here as they have made such an impact on my life.

I have some great church friends, but I have developed some wonderful friendships with people in my program that will last well after school. They have really made an impact on me and I am so thankful for them.

Good relationships is the key for me. I am done with the bad. I am done with constantly giving, only to get nothing back or just to get venom spewed back at me. I was even told by a very wise person out here, who has made such a difference in my life, that it is okay to be a "little mean and to draw lines." So thanks 3,000 miles. You allowed me to finally take some control, see who I really want in my life, and brought new friends into my life.

The Hills are Alive...

2009-10-18T20:31:00.003-04:00

Above is the Von Trapp Lodge in Stowe, Vermont. Yes, that is thee Von Trapp family of the Sound of Music fame. After they left Austria, they relocated to Stowe, Vermont. The lodge is a hotel and you can also buy a timeshare their. It is beautiful. It is located on this mountain right above Stowe.

Front view of the lodge. It is so pretty!!!

The beautiful foilage that is Vermont.

Side view!!!

The beautiful valley!

Another view. I took like ten billion pics of the foilage!

Getting the group to smile. There were eight of us in all and we had a great time. I love all of them so much and am glad we did this together.

A few of us decide to frolick in the nearby meadow. The movie was very inspiring to us. Here is my attempt.

This is Jen and Jane!

For Laurel...

2009-10-14T20:40:00.005-04:00

The following pictures are for my sister-in-law Laurel. She has been craving fall. I spent this past weekend with seven friends in Stowe, Vermont. It is this cute little New England town that is a major ski resort. We went to see the leaves changing. The place was literally on fire. I cannot even describe how beautiful it is. Stowe is what you think of when you think New England fall. Laurel, enjoy them. I'll post more pics from the trip later. We visited the Von Trapp lodge, a covered bridge, and Sharon, Vermont. All in a 24 hour period.

Pumpkin mania...

2009-10-04T13:23:00.005-04:00

I decided to celebrate fall's official arrival by making my pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. They are my favorite by far as I love anything pumpkin. Next week, it is onto zucchini bread and banana bread. I made them for this Relief Society dinner we had while the guys were at Priesthood session during General Conference. we had a bake-off. I won second place for best seasonal flavors. I lost to the pumpkin swirl bundt cake, which was so good. So, so good. I am going to try to make it one of these days!

You think after slaving away on cookies, I would not want to make anything else, well, you guessed wrong. I decided to make pumpkin pie, which is one of my favorites. I love making pumpkin pie. I made the crust from scratch, from my mom's recipe and did not burn it because I followed my mom's advice and covered the edges with tin foil while it baked. This pie crust recipe is great because the crust is so flaky. I have not tried it yet, but it looks and smell the delicious.

Fall baking!!!

2009-10-03T23:23:00.003-04:00

So, I am so excited that fall is here. In Boston, the leaves are beginning to turn and hey, I can deal with the rain to a point. Thank goodness for rain boots. However, I am most excited about baking. With fall comes pumpkin and apples. Today, I made a huge batch of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Tomorrow, comes pumpkin pie followed by many other things like banana bread and zucchini bread. I felt inspired by Ali Goodell (my sister-in-law's sister) and her mom Becky who posted about their breads on facebook. Both made my mouth water, so they are forth coming. Also on the list is cinnamon crunch muffins, apple bread/cake, pumpkin muffins, and pumpkin cream cheese swirl bundt cake. I had it tonight and it was awesome. I am sure the list will grow, but I am ready for it.

Along with thinking about things to bake, I have been looking for good ingredients to use. When I made my cookies I used organic sugar and brown sugar. Can I say, I loved both of these organic sugars. The brown sugar was granular, but you could not even tell. Plus, I like to use half butter and half unsweetened applesauce instead of the full serving of butter. It makes your baked good a little fluffier and tastes fantastic. So organic sugar and brown sugar have become my new must haves. Plus, thanks for my mom, I now have slit pads and a sifter. I love my sifter, I really do and my cookie scoop. They are my must haves. So take advantage of the fall, even in Cali and break out some fall baked goods!!! Also, after talking with my roommate Annie, I am going to try and attempt to make a pumpkin ice cream pie, which her mom makes. It sounds delicious. Canned pumpkin is the best. I may even try to make a sauce with it. Who knows!

Friendship...

2009-09-25T21:50:00.004-04:00

For the past few months, I have been reevaluating/redefining/cutting out some relationships in my life that just have not been healthy. I just got tired of people using me or dumping their venom on me or accusing me of being rude and malicious, or of forgetting someone, or making all of people's life decisions, it gets hard and draining. Especially because they do not really care about you or your happiness. You are just their "doormat." All they do is take and take from you until you really have nothing left to give. When some of them call me these days, I don't even pick up anymore because I am done dealing with them. They just don't want you to be happy because they aren't happy themselves. I found this following list to be very insightful because I have experienced most of the signs. It not only goes for friendship, but for family relations as well.

The 9 Signs You’re in a Toxic Friendship

By: Susan Shapiro Barash, author of Toxic Friends: The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships, on how to tell when your friendship is unhealthy … and how to disengage

1) Your friend is jealous of you. Jealousy is different than envy and the first can be very toxic for the relationship. Jealousy is: "I want what you have and I want you dead or disappeared." Envy is just: "I want what you have." A jealous friend will want to cut you out of her life because she really wants what you have and can’t stand to be around you anymore. An envious friend will want what you have, but will look to you as her inspiration or role model, and compete with you to get in the lead.

2) Your friend is a "doormat": It’s tiring to always be with someone who is so malleable.

3) Your friend wasn’t there for you. It’s sometimes hard to see if a friend is really a true pal until there is a life-changing moment in your life that requires the person’s support. This eye-opening event is called The Inciting Incident, which is when everything is going along fine, until wham! someone gets sick, or loses their job, or gets married or loses a loved one, and you find that the friend you thought would be by your side isn’t there for you at all. She doesn’t celebrate your good news nor does she help you in times of need. For some women it takes an "inciting incident" to finally notice that a friend is toxic.

4) Your friend is draining you: You feel you’re psychologically and emotionally giving all your energy to her and receiving nothing in return.

5) You don’t share the same values or the same world view: It’s a red flag that this isn’t the right friend for you if you don’t respect her for who she is. I interviewed a woman who wished her friend’s husband ill. It made the married woman realize that her friend’s behavior is nothing like her own.

6) You are using one another: This type of toxic relationship develops among socialites. You want to be friends with your neighbor because your children attend the same private school and you can coordinate a carpool. Will the friendship last? Maybe. Is there really a friendship between the mothers or is it just using? Is it worth turning this friendship into anything more than an agreement?

7) The relationship offers no return on investment: This is similar to a friend who is draining you – but this isn’t just an emotional give and take. If you are the one calling your friend to make plans and going out of your way to be with her, but she makes no attempt to go out of her way for you, then she’s not meeting you halfway.

8) Your friend is harming someone else or doing something illicit. Do you want to be associated with someone who is morally unjust? That’s a judgment call on your part.

9) Your friend burdens you with a secret: Your friend trusts you by sharing the details of her affair, but keeping the secret has weighed on you emotionally. You might want to keep your distance. If you’re too close to this woman and the secret is really impacting your life for the worse, it’s time to disengage yourself.

How to Disengage: If any of these signs describes one of your friendships, it’s likely to be a toxic relationship that’s burdensome to not just your sanity but hers as well. You could deliberately distance yourself and let the relationship fizzle into oblivion. If you would like to renegotiate the relationship and improve the friendship, have an honest conversation to reveal how you feel. You’ll risk losing this person, but the reward could be improving the quality of the friendship. Honesty is the best policy. Say: "I’m really upset you didn’t do this and this. And I needed you there to do this and this."

So after relating to many of these signs, I realized that I have many people in my life who are not like this and who are great friends. I have been focusing more on them lately and have seen what amazing people they are. They are their for me, which some days is a foreign concept because I am so use to my needs being placed on the back burner. They are amazing and the opposite of these 9 signs. They are caring and meet me halfway. They offer help and are good at balancing the good and take plus they don't burden me with these big crazy secrets or bag on my sister. I love them, especially my best friend, my sister Renee. She is none of the above. She is so sweet and kind and has this big heart. I love her very much and care very much about her happiness. So here are 9 signs of a good friend:

1. They are not jealous of you!
2. They celebrate your highs and are their for you lows, preferably with ice cream
3. They are genuinely happy for you.
4. They do not burden you with huge, crazy secrets that eat away at you.
5. They meet you halfway.
6. They do not drain you emotionally or physically
7. They call to ask you just how your day is going
8. They don't use you
9. They love you for who you are

Plus, their are many other attributes I could name. Friends are great, but it is finding those people who truly want to be their for you and be happy for you and don't try and ruin your happiness. This may only include a small group of people, but it is better to have a few close friends, than a large group who could care less about you. Yeah to great friendship!

School!

2009-09-15T20:45:00.003-04:00

So this past week, school began. I am officially in the last year of my program and graduated in May, yes this coming May. It is funny that the end is so close when I just started last year. Also, starting this year, I wasn't as nervous as I was last year. This is because I knew what to expect and because I am driven by the desire to graduate. My program is great, but keeps me busy. Graduate school is not meant to be easy. If I am not reading articles, I am writing papers, doing research, or this semester, learning how to build databases. Also, between working and going to school this semester, I also have to complete an internship, but it is worth it. Very worth it and my mom threatened to come out here and go to school with me everyday until I graduated. Just kidding!!!

The most pressing question I have been getting is where I am going after I graduate. I have contemplated this very much and have come to the conclusion that if there are no job opportunities or other things (i.e. boys) keeping me here that I will leave Boston. There are jobs all over, but realizing this, was such a relief. But as of now, I am focused on school. Come this May, I will be a Master. Who would have thought? Well, my parents did. They never give up on me and encouraged me to always follow my dreams. Thank you for teaching me all you could and for letting me stand on my own two feet and learn from my mistakes. This is why I can live in Boston and be okay, well most of the time, I can be okay. They carry me at times when I think I can't go on and Renee too. She is my best friend and my sounding board. Nathan and Laurel are also very supportive. I can't say enough about those two and their two cute little boys. They are so adorable and I miss them everyday. Thanks guys! I love you!

Also, living out here has allowed me to gain new perspectives on relationships I have with people. It is funny that in moving 3,000 miles I have redefined relationships and redrawn boundaries. I have truly seen who some people are and found who I really want to have in my life. It is funny how it took distance to come to these conclusions, but hey, it did. On another note, it took these 3,000 miles for me to find myself, who I really am. I fell hard at one part, but it is this fall that I believe truly saved me. It did. I had to find my bottom to make it to the top again. It is never the easiest journey, but I am doing it one step at a time. Some people may not like the changes, but I finally feel like I am being true to myself and it is freeing.

Also, I have gotten alot of love, support, and perspective from my cousin Jessica. I kind of followed her path as she left home (in Utah) and completed her master's (in Syracuse) and Ph.D. (in Ohio). She lived far from her family, but she accomplished what she set out to do. She has given me a lot of great advice and relates to where I am at because she has been here. Her words and love just have made all the difference lately. Today, she is happily married with two kids. I hope to emulate her in so many ways. I am so thankful she is part of my life. I love her so much. So here is my shout out to her. Thanks for everything Jessica. It has made an incredible difference in my life, it really has. You are awesome. I love you so much!!!

So my blog updates may become fewer as my life gets busy. I am currently balancing working 24 hours on top of taking three classes and in a few weeks I have to fit in an internship. I think my few hours will be spent in homework and sleeping. Oh glorious sleep. But the hard work is worth the best reward. I love learning though writing papers is never fun, but studying to be an archivist is really interesting, especially this year. I love describing to people now that I am a keeper of the past. So, I won't bore you anymore with archive talk, but will say good night. It is almost 10 and I like my sleep!

Happy Birthday Dad!

2009-09-12T07:47:00.003-04:00

So looking through my pictures, I realized I don't have that many of my dad (he doesn't like his picture being taken, that's way), so I chose this one just because of the face Eli is making. But I want to wish my dad a happy birthday. Today, he is 55 years old.

I love my dad very much. He is the best father. He loves all of his children and supports all of our dreams and ambitions. He just truly wants us to be happy at day's end. It is thanks to him that I am able to pursue my education and I am very thankful for that. Very thankful. I have had so many wonderful oppurtunities because of him, which include seeing the world and getting a great education. He is always willing to listen to me. He told me once that his shoulders were wide enough to carry any burden that I might have. His patience is amazing and I am thankful for that.

He is a great husband. My mom is one lucky woman. He loves her more than anything and wants her to be happy. He is the husband who every Christmas looks for the perfect gift and this process usually includes going to like five jewelry stores, but hey, he wants to get her what she loves. He is strong in the priesthood and in the church. That is reflected in our home to this day.

He is a hard worker. He loves his job as an accountant even through his busy times. However, he looks at his job as a way to support his family. That is why he works, but also becausee loves numbers, which missed me entirely. But that does not matter to him.

The role he cherishes most these days is that of PawPaw. He loves being a grandpa. Eli and West are just the light of his lives. I love seeing him with them. He is so patient. One of his favorite things to do is to rock them to sleep in this rocking chair we have downstairs. He began the tradition with Eli and continues it with West today. They just bring this little smile to his face and they love him so much. He loves swimming with them and throwing rocks at the wall with Eli at the top of his yard. Heck, Eli got my parents into watching the show Phinneas and Ferb. Light of his lives, what can I say? Some days, if he knows they will be at our house, he will find excuses to leave early though he won't admit it is because he is excited to go home and spend time with them. Secretly, I think he is counting down the day when he can educate on why they need to love the Lakers and Dodgers and why he should like UCLA sports over USC. He is the best, but he loves his family fiercely. He truly does.

So, happy Dad! I love you and hope you have a wonderful day. Don't spend it all at work! Go enjoy some cake and your grandsons!.

Love
Janae

Road trip, New England style...

2009-09-06T22:14:00.005-04:00

Sorry, about my earlier post, I was kind of frustrated, but here is something a little bit more light hearted. As I mentioned, my mom and I took a quick trip up the coast. We first stopped in Rockport, Massachusetts where we shopped, ate fudge and strudel. Their harbor is beautiful and we picked out our beach houses. Here are some highlights:

Rockport's harbor. To the right we various beach houses. My mom and I decided that her and my dad needed to invest in one. For some reason, I did not take any pics of them.

Downtown Rockport. It was filled with cute, little shops and did we shop.

Just another view of the Rockport harbor and the Atlantic ocean, which is very blue. I still prefer the Pacific.

After Rockport, we drove up to Maine, where we stayed in Freeport, Maine, which is above Portland, Maine and the main headquarters of L.L. Bean. The L.L. Bean is huge and open 24 hours. Cabella's, eat your heart out, but again, I just did not take a picture. Instead, I fell in love with Maine's beaches and lighthouses. Laurel, add this to your list of places to visit to photograph.

This beach is located in South Portland, Maine. We visited the Two Light lighthouse. This lighthouse had two lights. As you can see, Maine's coast is beautiful and most of their beaches are rocky. That is rock and not pertified wood you are looking at. It is a combination of sandstone and shale.

A tide pool amidst the rocks.

Just beautiful!

Mom, hamming it up in front of the lighthouse.

Being serious and beautiful!

Me!

I thought I would end with my mom prior to consuming her lobster. It was good. If you are ever in Maine get lobster. You will not regret it. It is so delicious!

One year ago!

2009-09-06T15:20:00.003-04:00

One year ago, I packed up and moved to Boston to attend graduate school. I still cannot believe I drove across the country. I will admit that moving to Boston scared me though I know I am suppose to be here. Change is never easy for me and it didn't help that my parents didn't stay that long to really help me settle in Boston because my dad had to get back to teach seminary. I was mad at him about this because sometimes it feels like he loves the youth more than his own family. We fought about it, but I wanted them to stay longer. But they believed I would be okay, but it did not help this big change.

I always focused on how it felt for me to see my parents leave. This past week, my mom and I talked about this whole arrival and them leaving. She admitted to me that it was incredibly difficult for her to leave me here. She wanted to stay and make sure that I was okay. I never considered how hard this separation was for her. She has my dad, Nathan, Laurel and her grand kids in California and Renee and Lewis in Utah. I did not know she had felt that way. How hard this is for her to have me so far away. During these past few months I have struggled with the fact that I might be forgotten. That I don't matter much. That I am disposable. That I am just their to meet their needs. This happens when I start to feel lonely. You see, I love living in Boston, I do, but some days the distance gets to me. This deep seeded feeling that comes up every once and awhile, when the homesickness creeps back up. Those are the hard days, the days I just want to abandon everything here.

I think this happens because I get overwhelmed. Because I feel like no one understands when they do. The days I cry tears and long for home. I am saved by my friends out here, but it is still hard. On these days, I just try to lose myself in work and in school and it helps. I just try to keep busy. I have done well out here. I graduate in a year and I like my job. My ward is fun though me and a few others just got moved into a new ward.

I have found this particulare challenge has made me stronger. I found this strenght in myself I didn't know existed. I get it from my mom. My wonderful mom. She is this strong woman and her love and strength gets me through some of the hardest moments along with my sister, Renee. Without Renee, I would be so lost. She is not only my sister, but my best friend. I tell her everything and I mean everything. She may not always undertand what I am trying to say, but she tries and is always willing to listen. I could not ask for a better sister. I would do anything for her. My dad is their too in the ways he can be. He is my sounding board and just listens as I need to let off steam over anything and everything. I have learned that it is okay to ask for help and that I do not have to do everything myself. I am far from perfect.

Sneak Peek...

2009-09-05T10:57:00.002-04:00

Last week, my mom came to town and we went on a little trip up the New England coast. We spent one night in Rockport, Massachusetts, which is beautiful. It is on the tip of Cape Ann and right next to Gloucester, Massachusetts. After visiting Rockport, we ventured up to Freeport, Maine. Maine is beautiful and we tried lobster for the first time. Here are a few pics from our trip. I will post more this weekend.

Me with my lobster. It was good. You just dive right in and go for it. We are at the Jameson Tavern in Freeport, which is where the papers where signed that separated Maine from Massachusetts.

Maine is known for their lighthouses. This particular lighthouse is called the Two Lights because their are two lights.

On vacation...

2009-08-27T19:22:00.001-04:00

At the moment, I am visiting the lovely state of Maine with my mom. I will post pics when I get back. Also, thanks for those who provided me with advice. I really appreciate it!

Love
Janae

Taking that ultimate leap of faith?

2009-08-23T20:30:00.003-04:00

I have never considered myself much of a risk taker. Usually, I shy away from doing anything crazy. This past year has shown me that I am a risk taker, that I can take leaps of faith and that everything will be alright. A year ago, I moved 3,000 miles away from my family and friends to pursue my Master's in Boston. I came out here knowing only my roommate. No matter how scared I was, I knew I was making the right choice as the Lord had shown me the path I now needed to take and even confirmed it to my parents. Usually, I am shy and would rather fade into the background, but I could not be that out here. With no family nearby, I had to create a new one and that meant making new friends. I put myself out there and befriend people. I developed this great group of friends at church and at school, who I love so dearly. I took this huge risk (moving) and another (stepping out of my comfort zone to make friends), but now this is other situation I am in where I don't know what to do.

Here is where I need some advice. I am going to be extremely vague in many ways, but hopefully what I write makes sense. If not, just call me. I am in this situation where I need to decide to take the ultimate risk by being completely honest about my feelings. I don't know what to do and have spent the past few days contemplating my next step and why taking it scares me. Moving to Boston scared me, but I did it. Making new friends was never easy, but I did it. Why is doing this thing scaring me? I thought it scared me because I was frightened of rejection. However, now I think I am scared of getting everything I wanted. Of being extremely happy. How crazy is that? Why does this scare me? I could be on the cusp of this great thing, but yet, I cannot take that leap of faith. I know I should just go for it. I know I should jump, I really should. I am open to any advice or suggestions. Thanks!!!

Renee and Lewis' Wedding Celebration!!!

2009-08-21T14:21:00.008-04:00

Below are more pictures from my sister and her new husband's wedding. Her wedding was beautiful. For more beautiful photos, you can check out my sister-in-law Laurel's blog. She was their photographer and took gorgeous pictures. If you need any photos taken, hire her. She is amazing.

For her bachelorette party, we dressed Renee up. However, she did refuse to put on this red velvet dress. Oh, well. She was a good sport. We started the party by introducing ourselves using out stripper names. Mine was Elise Woolley (you use your middle name and the name of the first street you lived on). Renee's was Amy Sapphire.

What bachelorette party is complete without a penis cake. I made this cake with Renee's best friend Brent. We have the cake mold if anyone wants to borrow it. We use played pin the pecker on the man. Laurel has those photos. Can you say blackmail material? Just kidding!

Christy Ellers, Renee's best friend and her co-maid of honor, doing Renee's makeup. Christy was a champ. Besides doing Renee's makeup, she did mine and my cousin Aubree's. She did a fantastic job.

Renee with Christy's little girl Maisy and Lewis.

After they got married, when went around to the back of the Redlands temple for photos. It was hot at this time, but we survived. Laurel, my sister-in-law, is readying everyone for their photos.

My nephew Eli, during the wedding. He keep asking why he couldn't go in the temple. When I told him he could not go in until he grew up, he told me that he was grown up because he is 3. Then I proceeded to explain that he had to be as tall as his dad to go in. Also, he was the first to greet Renee and Lewis when they came out of the temple. He gave her the sweetest kiss, which you can see at Laurel's blog.

My dad, holding his youngest grandson West, chatting with his new son-in-law.

The back of Renee's gown. Her gown is gorgeous.

A photo of my dad with his siblings and parents.

The happy couple posing with my parents.

Eli resting before the reception, which he had a blast at. He kept running around and laughing when his pants fell down.

As their was no luncheon, we all ended up at BJ's pizza to eat. We were starving after standing in the sun. It was good and is one of Renee's favorite places to eat. Though I captured a pic of the happy couple eating, I will not post it due to how the light caught Renee. Also, I may need to use the picture for blackmail in the future.

As Eli's pants kept falling down, Lewis loaned him his belt.

This is the entrance to the reception. It was decorated with pink tulle and lights. At night, when the reception occurred, it was lite up and the pink glowed. It was beautiful.

Our family loves Italian orange soda. We drank it everyday on our trips to Italy, so naturally Renee wanted it at her reception.

Our backyard decorate. Shelley Moore did a wonderful job putting everything together.

Again, congratulations to Renee and Lewis. I wish them nothing but the best.

Renee's Wedding!!!

2009-08-19T19:01:00.005-04:00

This past Saturday, my sister got married to the love of her life, Lewis. Their reception was beautiful and fun. I am incredibly happy for both of them. Here are some highlights:

After they walked out of the temple, my father is chatting up the groom while holding my cute little nephew West.

Renee and Lewis sharing a moment.

Renee with her best friend Christy and Christy's little girl Maisy. Lewis is performing her first husbandly task by holding Renee's bouquet!

My mom (holding West) with the newly married couple.

Our family shot. This is a combo of the Lakey/Litchfield family.

Me with Renee and Lewis.

My parents yard set up for the reception. It was beautiful. The pink tulle glowed when all the lights were lit.

Decompressing the day after. We all just laid around and ate. We had so much food left over, which included the best sandwiches and meatballs.

More pictures are coming, including some of the two cutest boys and a special bachelorette party pic!

California!!!

2009-08-17T21:54:00.002-04:00

My last trip back to California this summer was awesome. My sister got married and her reception was gorgeous. I am so happy for her and Lewis. They truly belong together. Many pictures are forth coming just as soon as I make it back to Boston and my computer.

Beach Time...

2009-08-09T16:17:00.001-04:00

Two weekends ago, I headed down to Narrangansett, Rhode Island to spend the weekend at my friend and former roommate Robin's parents house. Her town is located right on the Atlantic Ocean and the beaches are beautiful, though I will always love Newport Beach first and foremost. Taking in the beach, I strolled along the shore and even took a dip. The water felt good and the waves weren't that rought.

The shoreline.

The beach was pretty crowded.

The Narrangansett beach...the lifeguards were hot!

Summer Reading!!!

2009-08-05T21:33:00.000-04:00

This summer, I have done much reading, courtesy of the Boston Public Library. Libraries are fantastic because you do not have to pay for books and have an endless selection of reading materials. I have read through so much, from every book by Sophie Kinsella to reading Tori Spelling's Mommywood to Harry Potter. Go make use of your local library. You will never know what you find.

At the moment, I am currently Jodi Picoult's The Pact. I love her writing. She just draws you into her books and you cannot put them down. About a month ago, I read her book, My Sister's Keeper. What I love about her writing is that she tells her story from various points of view. There is no one main character, but you get to see the events unfold through different perspectives and she is not afraid to discuss any subject. The Pact deals with a suicide pact between a girl and her boyfriend. While she dies, he survives. The parents of the couple are neighbors and best friends. This situation drives them apart as Emily's (the dead girl) parents, especially her mother try to cope with her death. Her mother especially wants Christ (Emily's boyfriend) to pay for her death. On the other hand, Chris' parents believe the situation was a tragic mistake. Chris' mother, Gus will do anything for her son. Even though the book begins with Emily's death, Picoult takes you back through the years as she shows you how the families became close and how Emily and Chris fell in love. I have not finished yet, but I cannot put down the book. You just feel everything. She is incredible. If you get the chance, read one of her books.

National Cheesecake Day!

2009-07-30T09:24:00.000-04:00

Today is National Cheesecake Day and to celebrate, the Cheesecake Factory is offering all is cheesecake for half off!!! So go and enjoy a slice!

Loving a (pretty ugly) pirate!

2009-07-28T19:55:00.000-04:00

He is no Johnny Depp!!!

Brent's visit to Boston

2009-07-26T20:24:00.000-04:00

This past week, my friend and one of my sister's best friends, Brent came and visited me in Boston. It was action packed to say the least. The night he got in, I took him all over Harvard. We walked the entire Freedom Trail, from start to finish. This meant we actually made it to the Bunker Hill momument, where we proceeded to walk up 294 steps to get to the top. We went shopping, ate good food and walked along the Charles River. The day before he left, we went to Concord and then Salem. We ended our trip by enjoying Boston Cream Pie from the Omni Parker House hotel. They invented it. Here are some picture highlights:

There are a few cemeteries on the Freedom Trail and they contain graves of many famous people, like Paul Revere and John Hancock. Above is the grave of John Winthrop, the first governor of Massachusetts. He is buried in the King's Chapel cemetery.

At the Old State House, we could not resist dressing up as Revolutionary War soldiers.

This is the Bunker Hill monument. Though the day started off sunny, it ended with rain. And yes, we walked to the top. Brent dared me to walk again in these new high heel shoes I bought.

Brent and I at the top of Bunker Hill.

The Beautiful Charles River. We were checking out hot, shirtless joggers.

Brent and I chilling. He is probably thinking that I cannot believe Janae convinced me to walk all over Boston.

The Alcott House, as in the Louisa May Alcott family home. She wrote Little Women here. It is located in Concord, Massachusetts.

In Salem, Brent was connecting with his inner-witchness. Also, this trip to Salem reminded me of a true witch I have to unfortunately be related too.

Though known for the witch trials, Salem has a beautiful harbor.

Also, located in Salem is Nathaniel Hawthorne's House of Seven Gables, which his novel is based on.

Brent and I at the end of our long day, which began in Concord and ended in Salem. We ended the trip by eating Indian food. I love Chicken Mango though my mouth was on fire.

Sand Sculptures!!!

2009-07-19T17:42:00.000-04:00

This past Saturday, I went with my friend from school to the Revere Beach sand sculpture craving contest. It was awesome. These people are truly amazing in what they can create. Here are some highlights:

This was my favorite because it reminded me of my cousin Aubree who loves dragons!

Renee's Bridal Shower!

2009-07-10T23:51:00.000-04:00

This past Thursday night, Christy Ellers (Renee's best friend) and I threw Renee her bridal shower. As co-matrons of honor we planned and throw it together. It was awesome. I had so much fun. We invited many family members and friends. We served Renee's favorite foods. The highlight of the night was when my three year old nephew Eli decided to go swimming fully clothed in the spa. My dad said he just decided to go in. Later, when I looked out I saw that Eli decided to move unto the pool. He had his swim vest on and was having a blast. Later, we were all entertained by Eli as he bounced a balloon around and got his little brother, West laughing. Overall, the shower was a success. Renee and Lewis got many great gifts. Thank you all!!!

The cake. It was chocolate with chocolate buttercream filling with vanilla buttercream frosting.

The roses and food. The food served was Renee's favorites, which included Sal's pizza, shortbread cookies, peach rings, etc.

Yes, we made Renee decorate for her own shower. Actually, she felt inspired and decided to help out.

My co-matron of honor, Christy and her little girl Maisy. Christy and I had much fun planning and putting everything together. She is awesome.

Lewis dressed up in left over crepe power.

Renee and Aubree. Christy and I thought the bridal veil was awesome and Renee was a good sport and wore it all night.

The guests enjoying their food. We ran out of chairs.

Shelley Moore and Donna O'Neill creating Renee's ribbon bouquet.

Renee opening one of her many gifts. Brent, one of her best friends, served as her own personal trash picker-upper.

Renee and her ribbon bouquet that was put together by Donna O'Neill, a wonderful family friend. She only broke six ribbons, which means Renee is having six kids.

The Bride and Groom to be

Lewis missing Renee's lips!

Renee and Mom

4th of July, Lakey Style

2009-07-06T14:10:00.001-04:00

This past weekend, my family, plus my sister's finance Lewis, her best friend Christy, her husband Dan, and their little girl Maisy gathered together at my parents' house to swim and bbq. It was a fun 4th of July. We swam for awhile and took turns going off the slide though we could never convince Eli to go down the slide, but he dug swimming around the pool with only the assistance of his swim vest. Good-bye water wings. Here are some highlights:

Dad making his world famous peach ice cream. It was good.
Hanging out prior to swimming. That is Nathan, Laurel, West, my mom, and Aunt Julee.

The pool.

Julee and West. I love West's smile.

Dan, Christy, Renee, and Lewis.

Christy's 4th of July lemon cupcakes. They were good.

Eli swimming on his own. He loves the pool

Me, preswim.

Renee and Lewis slathering up

Christy and her little girl Maisy

Eli swimming from Grandpa to Dad! He swam well in his new lifevest.

West, just chilling and eating his toes. He is so cute!

Dad, firing up the grill. He did good with chicken, steaks, and hot dogs.

Chlling after an afternoon of swimming!

After his swim, Eli decided jumping on the couch would be fun! He just had endless energy.

The cutest little guys!

2009-07-03T23:57:00.000-04:00

A perk of coming home is spending time with my family, especially my nephews. Above, my nephew Eli is enjoying ice cream with Grandpa. He originally wanted my dad's bowl, so we got him some of his own. As you can tell, at the end he decided his finger was a better choice to feed himself than a spoon.

My little, adorable nephew West. He got a tour of the Getty Villa in his stroller. He is the smiliest little baby. I love playing peek-a-boo with him.
He is trying to tell dad to leave him be. Just kidding!

California Love!

2009-07-02T13:23:00.000-04:00

After living through a rainy June in Boston (it was very depressing), I took off for sunnier pastures in California. I am home for about two weeks and it was sunny and warm. I have missed the warmth and the sunshine. After constand rain and overcast weather, you become depressed. I feel better that I am out of it and home for awhile. I am excited to hang with my family, see my nephews and just do nothing.

Looking for a good summer read?

2009-06-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

Lately, I have been reading like crazy. After seeing previews for the upcoming movie, My Sister's Keeper, I decided to read by book. It is by Jodie Picoult. It is amazing. I could not put it down. I finished it in like 3 days and that is only because I had to work and sleep. My roommate read it in two days and even stayed up until 2 in the morning because she was so taken in by it. The book is about a family, with three children. Their oldest child is their only son Jesse, their next oldest is their 16 year old daughter Kate, and their youngest child is 13 year old Anna. Kate is dying of cancer. She was diagnosed when she was just a toddler. When her treatments did not work, her parents conceived Anna, who is a genetic match for Kate. After the parents had Kate, they never planned on having any other children, which is what Anna struggles with along with many other issues. Only the cord blood from Anna's umbilical cord was supposed to be used to treat Kate and send her into remission, when it failed, Anna then had to donate blood and give bone marrow.

With their options running out, as the mother Sara is trying desperately to save Kate, they decide to do a kidney transplant using one of Anna's kidneys. Before this happens, Anna sues for the right to make her own medical decisions. Her lawsuit tests her family's love for each other. It is told from each family member's point of view, plus the lawyer's. It is emotionally gripping and shows how strong bonds our between family members. I loved it, but I will not spoil the end. Read it. I have a copy if you want to borrow it, after Renee is done reading it.

What's the Point?

2009-06-18T09:51:00.000-04:00

This is a question I have been struggling with the past few weeks. What is the point of doing the right thing when after you do it and know it is right, you are the one who is punished or has to suffer the consequences. It makes no sense to me. It lead me to a point where I was like why should I continue to do what is right? I make the right choices, but at day's end, I feel like I am slapped in the face for it. It has worn me down, but luckily I have my sister and friends out here to pick me up.

After laying it all out to my dad over the past few days, he has really helped me to understand that I need to continue the path I am on and look at the long-term and not the short-term. He relayed to me the story of Lehi's dream about the iron rod. In Lehi's vision, the iron rod sits by darkness, but leads us to the Lord as long as we do not let go. He reminded me that if I keep my hand firmly on the rod that the darkness hovering next to me will not hurt me. That I will be okay if I keep making the correct choices like Lehi and Nephi did. They held on and stayed true to the Lord. I needed this combined with advice from my sister about choosing to be happy, which is what I struggle with. She says I have gotten alot better and I agree. I am thankful for Renee. She is the best sister and it is crazy sometimes how well she knows me. I love her so! She is the one I can always lean on.

So if you find yourself asking, what is the point, remember that the Lord will never fail us if we do what is right. I believe we go through trials of our faith to make us stronger and to prepare us for the future, which we cannot predict. I feel stronger, though I have my weak moments. My faith is strong and when I come to the point I want to give up that is when I know the devil is winning. I am not backing down for what I know is right and I will hold to the rod.

Thanks Renee!!!

2009-06-09T22:06:00.001-04:00

For being the best sister in the world. I love you and I am excited for your upcoming nuptials. Lewis is one lucky guy! Thanks for listening to me and always being their and giving it to me straight. I do not know what I would do without you.

Up!!!

2009-06-05T13:27:00.001-04:00

Last night, my friend and I went to see the movie Up! It was the best movie I have seen all year, actually in a few years. I knew it would be good when I started crying like 5 minutes in. It has a good message and the animation is amazing. Also, we saw it in 3-D, which made it all the better. The movie just reminded me to keep having amazing adventures and to always remember to know what is important to you. So go see this movie, it is worth it.

My beautiful sister...

2009-05-31T13:21:00.000-04:00

is getting married. Congratulations! I am so excited and beyond happy for her. Also, I am excited to get another brother, Lewis. Don't worry, Nathan, he will never take your place unless he bribes me with pretty gifts. Just kidding!! He is a great guy and makes Renee very happy. They are the cutest couple. Let the countdown begin.

Mystic, Connecticut

2009-05-29T16:40:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am standing front of Mystic Pizza, which is located in Mystic, Connecticut. This is where Julia Roberts filmed her first movie, Mystic Pizza. I visited this small, little cute town two weekends ago when I went down to Rhode Island to spend the weekend at my roomate Robin's parents house. Her mom is determined to show me every cool spot in New England, which is awesome. She is a great tour guide. Mystic is a fun town. We ate lunch at this place called the S & P Oyster Co, which is located right on Mystic River. Afterwards, we went shopping. I bought this cute dress and tried chocolate cover blueberries, which where to die for. They have this amazing chocolate shop, which I know Renee will love. They have a seaport and lighthouse. This is what New England is all about.

Standing in front of the Mystic River with the Seaport in the background.

Across the bridge is the little Downtown area, where I bought the cutest dress and had chocolate covered blueberries.

The Mystic Coast

In front of the Mystic Lighthouse

Front of the Mystic Lighthouse

Back of the Lighthouse

I just love this picture!!!

2009-05-24T09:57:00.000-04:00

Renee and I on Mother's Day.